Credit: Kevin Foley/ABC Television Group © 2012 Disney

Oh, hey there. Yeah, you. You with the gravel in your hair. Are you chilly? You know, from living under a rock in a desert with a terrible WiFi connection and only back issues of gossip rags to keep you company? We hate to be the ones to tell you this, but The Bachelor Season 17 with Sean Lowe is over. Done. Finit. He’s engaged, so you can stop working out now.

Yep, it’s time to relegate yourself to a lifetime of kitty cuddles, diet soda, and gorging on Lean Cuisines (what’s 19 x 300 calories?). The man living under God’s plan is with Catherine Giudici now. The Seattle native quit her job, moved to LA to hang with Sean while he wears spangly vests, and that’s that.

Sure, it’s true that a lot of Bachelor relationships don’t work out... like, most of them... but considering Sean and Catherine already have a wedding in the works for this summer, we’d say it’s time to name your blond body pillow “Sean” and wear out some pens writing fanfic. After all, the closest you’re going to get to Sean in a tux and a happily ever after is by moving your television screen into your twin bed and waiting for ABC to air his wedding. Sorry.