While watching The Bachelor do you ever find yourself asking, "Where the hell do these fools come from?" Yeah, you're not alone. Dumb stuff gets blurted out on The Bachelor on the reg, and we're here to capture all of those golden moments — just for you. Here are our picks for top 16 most boneheaded lines from Season 16, Episode 1:
16. Jenna Burke: I don’t want to be drama.
How about tragic comedy?
15. Ben Flajnik: I've never juggled 25 women.
His limit is 20 or they all start bumping into each other in the air.
14. Ben: I love grandmas.
Way to take a tough stand, man. Your position on tax reform?
13. Amber T.: It was really hard to have a conversation with him, obviously, when he's blindfolded and being fed different sorts of candy from a garbage sack.
What about when he’s juggling you?
12. Jenna: Everything goes black. It’s like where am I, what am I doing now?
You’re doing something embarrassing and you’ll have to defend yourself to everyone for years — no worries!
11. Emily O'Brien [on Brittney bringing her grandmother]: What a great move too to, like, make yourself look better: Put yourself next to somebody who's like old and wrinkley, and you look, like, gorgeous — a young face.
Sheryl, grab your crutches and get gangsta all over this beyotch’s arse.
10. Amber T.: I'm pretty sure when I was 5, I was eating dirt.
When did your palate get sophisticated enough for cow balls?
9. Amber: There's only one Amber Bacon and I'm gonna find a gentleman who doesn't like needy, cry-y, whiny girls.
But they have to like girls who diss grandmas.
8. Emily: There’s a gangsta side to me.
But it’s a PhD gangsta side.
7. Courtney Robertson: You’ve got great hair.
Ben: Thanks. I like your hair too.
The stuff of fairy tales, people.
6. Monica Spannbauer [on Blakeley Shea]: Her teeth. Her beauty. Her eyes. God! There is something to be said for a gorgeous, real woman.
At least *someone* found love on this show.
5. Courtney [of Lindzi Cox]: Screw you and the horse you rode in on.
Levi, feel free to relieve yourself in Courtney’s hair .
4. Jenna: How do you maintain sanity?
Carrie Bradshaw never had to cover tough questions like that.
3. Amber B.: It smelled a lot like Grandma.
As opposed to say, bitter Bacon?
2. Amber T.: Oh Ben better eat some cow balls. I will be disappointed if he doesn't.
You speak for us all there.
1. Jenna [to Monica]: Maybe we can share a tampon sometime.
Back off, she’s only sharing feminine hygiene products with Blakeley.
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