Please keep your mouth closed while reading the first half of this recap. You can open your mouth later. But not yet! Don’t get fancy. Wait for instructions.
Oh, if only Ben Flajnik had kept Blakeley Shea around for just a little while longer on The Bachelor Season 16, Episode 6, she would’ve had more great moments to add to her scrapbook.
Blakeley missed Casey Shteamer’s ugly cry departure after being confronted with an ex-boyfriend back home who still probably won’t marry her but may at least get one coherent sentence out of her — which is more than she ever gave the cameras. Blakeley also missed Jamie Otis’ attempt at seducing Ben, which is How To Bring Sexy Back — To The Victorian Era where it will be hidden again as embarrassing and disgraceful.
Ben likes sexy women, but not sexy women with scrapbooks or neurotic women with bad kissing guides. He prefers his “ladies” to take their tops off whenever they feel like it and he’s totally fine with someone painting “B + C = ♥” on his back. But if you regress *too* far into middle school territory, it will be your last seduction. Frowny face.
Read on for a full recap of the Panama action on Episode 6:
ANOTHER DATE WITH KACIE
Date card: “Kacie B., will our love survive? Pack three things”
Once again, Blakeley is upset about not getting a one-on-one date — as if she’s the only one who has yet to have an individual date. Remember Jamie and Casey S.? They exist too. Kacie Boguskie consoles Blakeley, which is funny since Kacie is the one who gets the first *second* date of the season — and Kacie is the first to get jealous whenever Ben spends time with anyone else.
Speaking of jealous, Courtney Robertson wonders/hopes that Ben is trying to weed out people that he’s unsure of. She wants Kacie to go home. She also wants to go skinny dipping again. Nudity = fun. Kacie = annoying. The world according to Queen Court!
A helicopter whisks Ben and Kacie to a deserted island, Ben sees it as a test of their relationship. His fear is that they’ll run out of things to talk about. Try Courtney. She seems to be a great conversation starter for everyone. For her three items, Kacie packed a corkscrew, a monkey man (?) and a bag of candy. Ben brought a machete, a fishing net and matches. They get all Survivor and eat fish and coconuts. However, the tribe has spoken on their kissing style — it’s mostly quick little pecks. No passion. Like they are already an old married couple.
That night they have a deep conversation. Kacie says the exotic stuff is great but she’s looking forward to the day-today things like going food shopping. It starts out really awkward. Later, Kacie says she doesn’t always relate to people her own age. She feels a bit older. He digs into her past and gets her to talk about how, in high school, she had an eating disorder. She felt out of control and the only thing she could control was her weight. She felt like if she was smaller she’d be prettier and happier. Yikes. It lasted about a year. She was “caught in the act” at a Super Bowl party. She was bulimic and anorexic. Through that, she learned a lot — that she doesn’t have to be perfect. She feels like it helped her grow up faster and made her a stronger person.
This is a big moment for Kacie, they decide, and it makes Ben like her even more. He breaks out the rose and she beams. Is this a competition for roses for Kacie? She wants to find love but is it necessarily with Ben?
Date card: “Let’s get lost … Ben” — Emily, Nicki, Lindzi, Casey S., Courtney and Jamie
Ben is looking for a girl who can go with the flow. Courtney is over group dates. She feels like she and Ben got so close when they got naked and she just wants more time alone. Jamie finally speaks and says one thing she likes about Ben is that he’s a man’s man, taking them on a boat ride down the river.
The ladies and Ben hang out in a Panama village. They all change into traditional clothing. One of the native ladies flashes the women to show them what they are supposed to do, so why do the bachelorettes get so offended when Courtney follows suit? “Why be modest?” Courtney says. “We’re one with nature, it’s raining. Go bikini-less.”
Emily O'Brien, of course, sarcastically sniffs that Courtney was being “classy.” Nicki Sterling also can’t believe Courtney would do that. It’s not America, ladies! Europeans wouldn’t even wear that much. And, tellingly, Ben comes out in his loincloth and tells the camera he “appreciated” how Courtney was the only one who didn’t wear her bikini top under the traditional tops. Ben loves nudity. If they knew about his skinny dipping date they’d realize that. They’d also realize this game is already over.
Courtney paints “B + C = ♥” on Ben’s back and for some reason the other girls are SHOCKED and APPALLED as if that’s just so childish and forward. Emily snaps that it gave her flashbacks to seventh grade, a place she’s visited many times in the past two weeks when insulting Courtney to Ben. Behind Courtney’s back. Then denying it. That’s what it means to be in middle school. Are the other ladies just there to flirt with each other? Flirt with the cameras? Flirt with their men back home? Flirt in theory? It’s starting to get confusing. Why are they there, if not to make moves on Ben?
That night, Ben sits down with Lindzi Cox and says she’s no drama and so easy-going it almost worried him at first. (Does he like drama?) Lindzi says she doesn’t believe in fighting. Neither does he. She couldn’t be in a relationship where they were fighting every other day. If it’s important she’ll cry over it. Sounds great, but then she admits she has cried over their relationship already — because her “boyfriend” (Ben) has many other “girlfriends.” (Welcome to The Bachelor!) Ben tells Lindzi he likes this softer side and he likes that she’s opening up and makes a joke about Dumpsville. They have a nice connection. It’s the middle ground between Friend Zone Kacie and Sex Zone Courtney.
Ben steals Courtney away and they lean into each other with clear “I’m into you” body language. Ben says something important: “I really appreciate the fact that you notice me and you’re assertive and confident and I really like those things about you.” He asks if those things get her in hot water with the other women. She says they do. He tells her not to stop doing them. Remember that, Courtney haters: Ben likes all the things you hate. Ben likes when ladies actually notice him and make moves. Remember, this guy is used to women coming to him. Ashley Hebert came to him, eventually. Jennifer Love Hewitt came to him. He doesn’t like when women hold back, the way the other “prudes” are doing.
Jamie sits down and makes a major “I haven’t been open enough...” speech with Ben. But if she wants to show her feelings, she should show them, not just talk about them. Courtney strips down to her bikini in the background and it throws Jamie off her game. Queen Court is not shy, like Jamie is. This is a fast-paced show. You have to be bold. Jamie wants to make a move with Ben, but instead of just doing that she continues to talk a blue streak. Ben isn’t into talk. Again, Ben likes nudity and aggression.
Jamie: “I honestly feel like because of Courtney, I might be going home.”
Nope. Because of you, hon. Because this show is too fast for you. Nothing wrong with that, but don’t throw it on Courtney just because she’s better suited to this show and this particular Bachelor.
EMILY APOLOGIZES TO COURTNEY
Ben sits down with Emily and she says, “There is actually another man in my life. It’s recent. It’s sort of out of the blue.... That man is the chief.” Emily makes him laugh. If she didn’t have that Courtney obsession, she’d be great for him. Emily says she learned her lesson about Courtney. It’s very much like Jake Pavelka’s speech with Ali Fedotowsky when Ali realized she had to stop her anti-Vienna Girardi obsession. Emily said she may have misjudged Courtney and she claims she wants to now be friends.
Emily apologizes to Courtney, in front of the other women — a.k.a Emily’s allies. (She should’ve pulled Courtney aside.) Courtney appreciates that Emily acknowledged she was wrong, but they will not be friends. “I don’t forgive and forget.” She doesn’t respect Emily for treating her that poorly. Emily now claims to respect Courtney. Jamie plays mediator, which is clearly why she was there to begin with. Emily couldn’t just talk to Courtney without her team. Having said that, if someone apologizes, there’s no need to rub salt in the wound. Just accept it (or not) and move on.
Meanwhile, Lindzi gets the group date rose. Important! Lindzi got extra time last week on the baseball group date. She got the first rose at the last rose ceremony. Now she’s getting the group date rose. Lindzi is in a serious frontrunner position. However, if Ben does pick Lindzi and not, say, Courtney, how is Lindzi going to feel watching the show back and seeing Ben go skinny dipping with Courtney?
Courtney is ticked at not getting the rose. She feels she deserves a rose for going out of her way to give Ben attention and make him feel special. No one else bothered to do that, she feels. She put out an invitation for Ben to come to her room, but could he even do that? That would be a death sentence with the other women. Besides, Ben doesn’t make the first move.
Courtney says she has a pattern with men that she dates — she’s appreciated in the beginning and then she’s taken for granted. “I’ve been consistently disappointed by men.” She’s upset that Ben never showed up. As if he could!
2-ON-1 DANCING DATE WITH BLAKELEY AND RACHEL
Date card: “Blakeley and Rachel, save the last dance for me … Ben”
Blakeley is incredibly confident. She loves to dance. She’s pumped. But she probably just wants to get out of the house. Ben says both Blakeley and Rachel Truehart are on an even playing field at this point. He’s looking for chemistry and hopes to find it through dancing. And probably kissing.
They Salsa dance and, once again, it’s a shame Roberto Martinez isn’t here. Last week they had baseball and now they’re doing his Salsa dance. “Salsa is sweaty and sexual,” Ben says during the dance. On that note, Blakeley uses her sex appeal to get closer to him. Why not? “I think Blakeley is [bleep] tacky,” Rachel says. Rachel hates that Blakeley uses her sexuality with Ben. “And I don’t understand why.” Really?! Rachel seemed great in the beginning, but when she’s threatened, she gets kind of mean. Remember how she was with “creeper” Shawntel Newton? What does she have against Blakeley, other than that Blakeley is a better Salsa dancer?
Their dinner is as awkward as only a 2-on-1 date can be. Blakeley actually seems like a really nice person — nicer than Rachel under pressure, anyway. Ben pulls Rachel to the side first. Rachel says this isn’t about a competition, it’s about a personal connection with Ben. She says Blakeley is very fast-moving with him and that’s fine (subtext: it’s not!) but some things need to come with time and she whole-heartedly wants to be there. Then she kisses him over and over. For an easy sell like Ben, that’s a good pitch. He has no idea what he’s doing. Then Ben talks to Blakeley. She’s more nervous. She doesn’t have a prepared speech, like Rachel. Instead, she tears up talking about how she finally feels something. Ben tells her she has changed and she’s much more open. She keeps getting emotional and it seems to ruin the moment. “I don’t want to lose you before you even get to know me.” She decides to share … oh no … a Ben scrapbook. (Scrapbook Kirk DeWindt, your soul mate is here.) Talk about flashbacks to seventh grade. They kiss. Blakeley is more confident after talking with Ben.
Ben says he’s torn but he has to choose which woman he feels closer to spending his life with. Rachel gets the rose. Blakeley gets upset and just walks out. Ben chases her out but he’s never been one for the chase. She’s piiiiiiiiissed. Rachel, of course, spies through the window. These ladies are all future Mrs. Dursleys, snooping from the Privet Drive windows ala Harry Potter. Ben sugar-coats things for the emotional Blakeley. Back at the house, the ladies are proud of themselves for correctly guessing that Blakeley would be going home. It is all a competition to them, no matter what they say.
Rachel pulls a Courtney and brags to the camera about getting a rose. But no one will call her out on it, of course.
CHRIS TALKS TO CASEY, CASEY TALKS TO BEN
Chris Harrison shows up to the hotel to ask the ladies how they are enjoying Panama. Oh and by the way, Casey S., you are BURNT. He pulls Casey to the open courtyard, so the other ladies can spy on them through the glass.
Chris: “It was brought to my attention by three different people back in the United States that you’re in love with somebody else and not in love with Ben. Michael is your boyfriend back home.”
Casey: “My ex.”
Chris said they talked to Michael and, from his perspective, he and Casey are still in a relationship. They were practically living together before she went on the show. Casey said she and Michael were not on the same page since he wasn’t sure he wanted to get married. They broke up a year ago and then got back together.
Is she still in love with Michael? “I don’t want to be...” She can never give a straight answer. And then she decides it’s come to her own attention in the past two days that she still has feelings for him. It’d be nice if they could just get one coherent sentence out of her, but she’s all over the place. She talks to Ben but she’s the queen of half-sentences. She tells Ben she’s not still dating her ex (Michael Patak) but she’s also not over him. Ben is ticked, just wishing she had been more honest earlier on. Poor Blakeley could’ve added more pages to her scrapbook.
Casey’s exit is the ugliest sad cry ever. She feels like she has no one now. But even if she didn’t have a guy back home, she also had nothing with Ben. Their conversations were painful.
Chris tells the other ladies that Casey has left. He tells them that she was in love with another man when coming on the show. The ladies love this, of course. All bright eyes. Chris relays Ben’s message: “Be open to finding love.” If you’re not open to truly finding love, it’s not going to work.
COCKTAIL PARTY GETS AWWWWWWKWARD!
Nicki and Ben sit down for a talk. Ben looks checked out, but he probably needs reassurance at this point. They have a Catholic school dance. There are sixth and seventh grade references all over the place tonight. Nicki insists she is falling for Ben, but it seems to be a one-way street.
Jamie has the most painfully awkward moment trying to seduce Ben. He likes forward women, but they have to be naturally confident, not forcing it. She tries to make out with him and it becomes torture-kissing. She gets “fancy” but really she’s just putting us through the most awkward scene ever.
Kacie, Rachel and Lindzi already have roses.
The final rose!
Eliminated: Jamie and her lack of seduction skills. Poor Jamie. Invisible for five episodes and now this.
They are going to Belize. This is the week leading up to hometowns. We’re back to more Everyone vs. Courtney again. Kacie and Nicki tell Ben to “tread lightly.” He wonders if Courtney is saying different things behind his back. No, she isn’t pulling a Bentley. She’s joking about the other ladies, but why should he care? She’s into him. That’s all that matters.
Emily gives Ben another rap. She needs to start memorizing them instead of reading off a card. Or just make them shorter. Ben doesn’t seem as into this one. But we give her mad props for tryin!