In the race for Brad's heart, who's leading the pack and who's bringing up the tail? Regardless of how things played out in the premiere episode of The Bachelor, we're naming our picks for this episode's winner and loser.
WINNER: EMILY MAYNARD
1. She looks like a Barbie doll. We're already calling her Southern Barbie and if Mattel has any sense at all it's creating Emily and little Ricki dolls as we speak.
2. She made us cry — first about losing the love of her life at age 19 and then for finding out the new love of her life was growing inside her at the same time. Magic.
3. She shakes Brad's hand at the intro and waits until he asks if he can hug her. She's a classy, confident lady and knows how to make a man come to her without literally beckoning him to the limo.
4. She refuses to settle for anything but love. Her mom is right: It's better to be home alone than to be home and wishing you were alone.
5. She says she's more shy than the other ladies. This is a good thing. It proves she's not desperate or immature. Stay this way, Southern Barbie!
LOSER: MADISON GARTON
1. For heaven's sake, the chick wears fangs.
2. The model/actress saunters toward Brad when exiting the limo; it couldn't be more obvious she's just putting on a show.
3. She plays coy when the time for cutesy coyness has clearly passed — if it was ever there.
4. She's totally wrong for earnest, post-therapy Texan Brad. She was hoping for a dark, mysterious Bachelor — and that he is not.
5. We're back to the fangs. Come on, now.