Credit: video still

We've always feared that Bachelor Nation contestants were rounded up from local insane asylums around Los Angeles, and the questionnaires from Bachelorette Season 9 are all the proof we need. Check out our roundup of the craziest answers, and feel free to be afraid. Be very afraid.

10. If you could live in any other time period, what would it be?
Ben: Jesus' timespan.

Best timespan ever.

9. What is the most romantic present you've ever given?
Brad: A trip to see Justin Timberlake live in concert.

Clearly this was Brad's failed attempt to bring sexy back.

Credit: Reality Steve Photo: Brian Jarosinki

8. What's your best date memory?
Brian: Bliss Happiness Feelings.

These are just words, Brian. It's called a sentence.

7. What is the most romantic present you've ever received?
Brooks: Kilt. It represents my family heritage.

Ah, yes, nothing more romantic than a man-skirt.

6. What is your most embarrassing moment?
Bryden: I thought I was texting a girl I liked but I had mixed up numbers and was texting a gay dude that had been hanging out with us all night.

The hijinks! 

Credit: Craig Sjodin/ABC Television Group © 2012 Disney

5. What does your ideal mate look like?
Diogo: Girly.

As opposed to boyish?

4. If you could have lunch with one person, who would it be and why?
Jonathan: Gandhi because he seemed like a really cool, enlightened cat.

Gandhi was a human. And as far as we know, he wasn’t real big on lunch.

3. Describe your idea of the ultimate date.
Micah: To really get to know someone and not just create a romantic ambiance, I'd say Costco.

Nothing says romance like bulk cheese and coffins.

2. What is the most outrageous thing you have ever done?
Mike R: I've had sex in public while on a military base.

Nopers.

1. Meatloaf said he would "do anything for love, but he won't do that." What will you not do?
Will: Meth.

Um...we're so worried.