As any of the fans of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette can attest, Desiree Hartsock generally comes off as a sweetheart, a girl just looking for love and trying to maintain her sunny optimism. But a few of her comments have rubbed viewers the wrong way.
First of all, one of her responses in her People interview seemed to characterize people who don't want children as "selfish." She told the magazine that a deal-breaker would be "someone who is selfish and doesn't want kids, because I really do want a family."
There's a chance that she was simply describing two unappealing and unrelated attributes, but if she was, she could have been a bit clearer.
And then came the premiere of her Bachelorette season, in which she was confronted by Jonathan, the randy suitor who wanted to take her straight to the Fantasy Suite. Her refusal has been branded by some fans as an example of "slut-shaming," which Wikipedia articulately defines as "making a woman feel guilty or inferior for engaging in certain sexual behaviors that deviate from traditional or orthodox gender expectations."
In her recap of the episode, Sarah Van Name of PolicyMic applauds Desiree for sticking to her guns among Jonathan's multiple unwelcome advances — but then expresses disappointment with her method.
But the way she did it — oh, the way she did it. She could have said almost anything else. “I’m not interested,” or “I don’t want to do that right now,” or “What the hell?” would have been fine. But no. The words she used were, “I’m not that kind of girl.”
“That kind of girl:” a woman who would sleep with a guy the night she met him, and enjoy it. You know. A slut. When Desiree stood up for herself, she was also slut-shaming every woman who has ever had fun on a one-night stand.
What do you think, readers? Is Desiree just a woman with unyielding viewpoints? Or is she being condescending to those who might disagree? Sound off by casting your vote with the blue buttons below!