Credit: Craig Sjodin/ABC Television Group © 2012 Disney

Hands up if your life is a hot mess of ugly-crying sessions and butterfly metaphors! Brandon Andreen is right there with you. In fact, he's probably curled up in the fetal position as we write this.

This Bachelorette 2013 contestant was brutally rejected by Desiree Hartsock just hours after declaring his undying love, and it was pretty much the most tragic thing we've seen since that one time Brooks Forester broke his finger in a freak ball play accident.

Turns out Brandon has a few abandonment issues thanks to being raised by a million deadbeat substitute daddies, and failed to understand why Desiree was weirded out by his fast-track declaration of love. Because apparently the fact that they only knew each other for five minutes wasn't an issue for him.

Anyway, the only thing we want more than pizza is for Brandon to find himself a girlfriend, and ladies? It looks like this delectable bite of man candy is ready and waiting for you to snatch him up. When a curious (read: extremely worried) fan asked Brandon via Twitter if he's currently single, he responded "Correct :)"

Hear that, Bachelor Nation? Get in line. Also, is anyone else deeply relieved that Brandon is responding to tweets? We fully expected him to be shaking and crying in a corner after re-living his emotional breakdown on The Bachelorette.

Source: Twitter