If this week's episode of The Bachelorette was a meal, it would be a plate of hot dogs and buns slathered in spicy sauce and festooned with a banana hammock. That's how delicious it was. Why? Because Desiree Hartsock's gaggle of man-geese stripped down to their swimsuits and postured their ample assets during an impromptu Mr. America competition. And yes, we nearly went blind from Stud Overload.
Each and every one of Desiree's boyfriends looked like the bomb dot com during the competition, but Zak Waddell really took things to the next level in a pair of bright red panties (seriously, our underwear is like twice the size of his, and we're female).
Check out this snapshot of Zak reliving the bromantic memories with his fellow shirtless hottie, Bryden Vukasin! Of course, this photo was taken before Bryden suffered an existential crisis about his feelings, so he looks particularly joyful.
Sigh, these two paint such a beautiful picture. A picture of frolicking professional strippers who also happen to be in love with each other. And hey — if things don't work out with Desiree, at least hunks like Zak and Bryden have each other.
Now excuse us while we make up shipper names. Brak, anyone?