We have a lot of feelings about Bryden Vukasin's behavior during this week's episode of The Bachelorette. In case you need a refresher, this hunk interrupted Desiree Hartsock's date with Chris Siegfried to be like "Ich bin ein I don't like you anymore" and then hopped on a jet plane back to the USA. It was the messiest outro we've ever seen, which is why Bryden has officially been crowned The Bachelorette's Hot Mess of the Week.
Let's break this business down. First of all, we're wondering why Bryden didn't just deflower himself last week. You know, when he realized that he didn't like Desiree anymore while still on US soil? We get that the siren calls of a German sausage fest are almost impossible to resist, but buddy. Major party foul.
Second of all, Bryden's timing was completely off. He should have waited until after Chris' date to break up with Desiree, but instead insisted on roaming the streets of Munich like some wandering nomadic minstrel. Also, we'd like to issue a public apology to all the innocent German locals who were accosted by Bryden. Apparently boyfriend failed to realize that he could simply ask his own camera crew to help locate Desiree and Chris' filming ensemble. Spoiler alert, Bryden: all these dude work together and own cellphones.
Of course Bryden's terrible timing really shone through when he creepily lurked on the fringes of a traumatized group of local passersby and watched as Desiree and Chris skipped jubilantly through the streets. At this point, Bryden should have realized that Desiree totally didn't care if he left, but instead he broke up Des and Chris' good time, dragged Des to some weird alley, made her sit on the sidewalk, and was like "I'm leaving on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again, oh babe I hate to go."
We're calling it: worst breakup in the history of The Bachelorette. So, where is Bryden now? Last time we saw this confused soul, he was wandering through the streets being followed by a soundtrack of sinister techno music. We assume he made it back to America safely (editor's note: he did), but who knows. Chris Harrison doesn't let prisoners go that easily....
Oh, and special shoutout to Bryden's partner in hot messy crime, Ben Scott, who left the bosom of Munich with the following declaration: "You guys missed out. The single dad from Texasssss. Hiiiii, Hollywood [giggles]! I'm gonna have fun on my last night in Munich. When are we getting drunk? Let's have fun tonight!"
Stay classy, Ben.