Juan “WHO-an” Pablo Galavis quiere dar todos los besos á Desiree Hartsock. All of the kisses. To Desiree. All the time. Porque si Juan Pablo no la besa, quien puede? (Translation: If Juan Pablo doesn’t kiss her, who can?) On days when we don’t see enough JP onscreen on The Bachelorette, we are muy triste (very sad). And you know what makes us even more triste? When Juan Pablo posts pictures saying “the OTHER love of my life” and it’s not a selfie we took together.

Credit: Twitter

We don’t get it, Juan Pablo. What do your dirty, scrunched tube socks have that we don’t? Are you referring to the gentle graceful nubbinness of your shoes? Because sometimes when we lay a certain way, we too can show off those ridges. Is it a far away shot of Des? Is that her in the blue? She looks... different.

Your first love is obviously your hija, Camilla, but we figured that by now you and Des would be living in a fishing village together, speaking in tongues, wearing only sarongs, while you corrected her mispronunciations in that charming way of yours.

Que lastima. it looks like you’ve left it all behind (uh, you know, other than the fact that you’re still on the show) and are back to enjoying the hairy leggedness of a calf. Oh wait. We get it. You’re talking about el futbol. Sorry we got celosa for a minute. It’s only natural with a man like you.

El fin.

Source: Twitter