Credit: Nick Ray/ABC Television Group © 2013 Disney

NOBODY. NO ONE LEAVES. In our perfect, dream world, Desiree Hartsock decides to call the game in Spain, becoming the first Bachelorette in history to tell Chris Harrison and his rules where to stick it. Because Desiree is a special lady, okay? And that means she’s all “Eight is enough!” and decides to keep the remaining fellas in her life.

No? That’s not what happens? Dang it. Oh well, all we know is that Des and her dudes fly into Barcelona, and three get left behind. So, just who are the ones who don’t make the cut? Hold on to your castanets, amigas, because it’s not going to be easy to lose any of them.

Word is that James Case has been balling and shot-calling in all the wrong ways, saying that everyone else is slackin’ on their pimpin’ and they need to turn it up — or he’s going to be the next Bachelor. And while there’s a little debate over exactly what went on, it’s all going to come to a head on tonight’s episode. Apparently Kasey Stewart and Drew Kenney are going to be involved in confronting the Chicagoan, and it doesn’t turn out well.

What happens? Well, according to Reality Steve, two of the three don’t survive the Hunger Games-like fight, and James and Kasey are those guys.

And then, just to make us all cry, cry, cry in our lonely hearts (slash kick our best stalking skills into gear), a lone ranger also gets the Spanish word for boot in Barcelona: Juan Pablo Galavis. WHAT THE WHAT? We don’t get it: he speaks Spanish, plays soccer, and takes his shirt off. Clearly, Des is suffering from some serioso jet lag, because that’s just loco.

Source: Reality Steve