Credit: Angus Muir/ABC Television Group © 2013 Disney

We’ve had enough of the overly clothed men of Desiree Hartsock’s love kingdom on The Bachelorette Season 9. While snow is fun and Drew Kenney wears a pea coat like a champ, we’re ready for everyone to get a little more... shirtless. In Episode 7, Des, Drew, Brooks Forester, Chris Siegfried, and Michael Garofola get hauled off to the island of Madeira, off the coasts of Portugal and Africa.

Based on what we’ve seen so far, it’s going to be a sweaty, helicoptery, poemy, teary mess of a good time. Remember that this is one of the most important weeks of the season, as the top five guys are competing to see who will be the next Bachelor for Hometown Dates. That’s right, four of these dudes will be hanging with Des and their fams back in the States, right after they find their beach-strewn shirts.

Who will head back to US soil with his head hung low (wobbling to and fro) and who will hit the ground running? Check out our spoiler roundup for Season 9 Episode 7 and you too will be wise to the future.

Bachelorette 2013 Episode 7 Synopsis: Love Is Like a Metaphor for Love
Four dates, three guys, two painful word games.

Bachelorette 2013 Spoilers: Desiree Harstock and Brooks Forester’s Cliffhanger
One wrong step and the game’s over. One right step and, well, same thing...

The Bachelorette Season 9 Episode 7 Promo: Drew Kenney Leaving in Tears?
Fact: This season was secretly sponsored by Kleenex brand tissues: Now with more man tears.

Bachelorette 2013 Week 7 Promo Analysis: Everyone Cries, Someone Leaves
Ugh. Everything is illuminated... Or not.

Bachelorette 2013 Episode 7 Preview: Des Is More in Love Than Brooks (VIDEO)
You know how they've always seemed super in tune? Well, then this happened...

Bachelorette 2013 Spoilers: Who Goes Home Next Week in Portugal?
Well, everyone, technically...

Bachelorette 2013 Spoiler: Reality Steve Admits He Was Wrong About WHAT?!
Good to know. We’ll amend our travel plans now.

And for people who have no self control (welcome to our club):
Bachelorette 2013 Spoilers: Who Does Desiree Hartsock Pick?