Bachelorette Andi Dorfman just took a page from Emily Maynard’s book of sass and went backwoods West Virginia hoodrat on her remaining boyfriends. Except she did it in Connecticut, after spending time with Dylan Petitt — he of the double drug tragedies — rappelling down Mohegan Sun with mega-hawt Marcus Grodd — he of the ice blue eyes we see in our dreams — and watching a bunch of grown-ass men play with their basketballs.

Eleven guys went on that group date, and it’s not clear how many scored waitresses’ numbers by the end. But Andi ended Episode 4 by laying down the law with a speech worthy of her oh no you di’int predecessors.

This time, we saw a bit of a twist on the typical showdown — with Eric Hill accusing the rosemistress herself of not being authentic with him. Actually, he “accused” her of having a poker face, which is actually a compliment on this show, because the opposite would be “You’re making it obvious who you want to pick and it’s only Episode 4.”

But just stahp right there, y’all, ‘cause Andi flipped out big time. Apparently she’s the only one who’s allowed to call out rose-givers on their behavior, she’s not allowed to be confronted herself. It made for doubly awkward drama, because 1) this is so real to Andi, who tearfully reminded us all how hard it is to date multiple men on television; and 2) Eric lost his life after he returned home from The Bachelorette.

You never want to speak ill of the dead, never mind have a person’s parting TV words be shrouded in petty reality drama. Still, the truth is always refreshing — and if Eric’s final time with us wasn’t as positive as his first date with Andi, at least it was honest, and at least his death was addressed on camera at the end of the show. He didn’t mean anything bad by what he said, and he really deserved a better exit instead of being exploited for drama, but he probably won some new fans with his honesty. It’s a refreshing change on a show this cynical.

On that note, here’s an honest recap of all the times Andi cried, kissed, said “y’all,” and nodded with empathy in The Constitution State.
 

Welcome to New England — At Exactly the Wrong Time to Visit

Why couldn’t they save New England for the fall instead of forcing them to pretend the Northeast in late winter/early spring is romantic instead of depressing and slushy? Oh well, that’s where Chris Harrison wanted us to go, and there’s no reasoning with the guy. This was Andi's fourth week of dating, leaving her with just 13 boyfriends. There were still a lot of guys she had to get to know more (we can’t remember some of their names either, girl), but some of them were growing on her like attractive fungi.

Chris Soules vowed to keep Andi warm in chilly Connecticut, and he actually managed to pull it off with sincerity. Dylan said it felt like coming home, since he's from the Boston area. The guys found time to toast each other in the (totally empty) hot tub, which ended up being one of the most romantic moments of the night. 


One on One — Dylan and Andi Get Steamy … Actually, They Just Get Sad

Credit: Rick Rowell/ABC Television Group Photo: Dylan Petitt Gets Rose

Date card: "Dylan, our relationship is picking up steam."

Cue a dozen other steam puns! In the train, Andi and Dylan just kind of sat there staring out the window, with little detectable chemistry. Dylan asked Andi about her longest previous relationship, and she explained they broke up because she would’ve been settling for a relationship that was good but not ideal. Cool talk, but it was nothing like Dyls’ eight-year one, which ended because he realized he needed time to figure out his life without her in it, which led to “a messy breakup.” Adding a little extra sting? It happened right after his brother’s funeral. It was an awkward train ride, to say the least.

Over dinner in an empty train car, they had The Talk. Getting only the slightest bit choked up, Dylan managed to tell the story of his sister and brother dying of drug overdoses. Not exactly your typical first date chatter. Andi squinted and shook her head as she listened, not seeming to know how to react.

To his credit, Dylan said he didn’t want Andi to feel bad for him, or keep him around because of this. But that’s kind of what she has to feel, and of course she’d feel bad if she dumped him after sharing his dark story. He said what happened made him who he is; being there, back near his hometown, brought back memories for him.

We’re honestly surprised that he would go on The Bachelorette so soon after the second tragedy happened, especially since it seems to be heavy on his mind. Although we don’t see a connection, Andi handed off a rose to the long-haired fella, though it didn’t seem to be a love rose, that’s for sure… More like a “thank you for sharing” rose, because this was a therapy date.


Group Date — 11 Men Get Sweaty, Fall Deeper In Love … With Each Other

Date card: “Who’s got game?”

Who’s going: JJ O’Brien, Chris Soules, Andrew Poole, Eric Hill, Nick Sutter, Marquel Martin, Cody Sattler, Tasos Hernandez, Brian Osborne, Patrick Jagodzinski, Josh Murray

New England is the birthplace of basketball — remember that the next time it comes up on Jeopardy! The Bachelorette boys were forced to compete against WNBA players, who threw serious shade at the men for their lack of game. Andi stopped the sadness before she fell out of love with all of them, and made the men play against each other. The winners got to go on a date with Andi, which probably meant less to them than getting to spend more hot tub time with each other.

Brian — a serious gamer in his element, since he’s already a basketball coach — led his team of red “Rosebuds” to victory, although Marquel and Nick did most of the bragging about their excellence and efficiency. Josh’s cheesy “Five of Hearts” team got smoked, which pissed off the former pro athlete to no end, firing him up. After all, this is a grown-ass man who hates losing! Did he mention it fired him up? It did. His whole team licked their wounds and pouted in resentment.

On the upside, Andi was turned on by all the alpha male drama, perhaps missing how NONE of it had anything to do with falling in love with her. If people don’t want this show to be just about “winning” a game, maybe they shouldn’t make it so obviously about men competing in games… 


Group Date — Who Gets the Rose?

Credit: Rick Rowell/ABC Television Group Photo: Episode 4 Basketball Date

In the winners circle, Andi first pulled Eric aside, and the two agreed their relationship had stalled. While Eric thought he and Andi were on the same page with not rolling well in the “process” of reality dating, what Andi really meant was that he should step it up in the arena. He missed that, but told her a little about his family, ditching his Mormon religion and thinking he was going to lose his fam, and how much he loves love.

We can’t decide if it was hard for his family to watch back now, or if they would be grateful to hear more from Eric, especially when he talks about his love for them. Andi said she felt like she and Eric cleared the air with their honest talk. The spark was reignited… or so she thought.

Next, Andi and game winner Brian hit the court, where “coach” turned her on with his mad ball skills. The man does know how to sink a shot. Brian earned himself both “hawt” and “stahp” comments from Andi, and that’s how you KNOW she’s into you. She wanted to drop him onto the ground right there and make herself some Baby Brians. But he didn’t even kiss her. Brian completely missed the real shot he needed to take — taking off his sweater kissing Andi.

At least Nick got to benefit from Andi’s increased libido. Lucky for the 33-year-old frontrunner, A.Dorf is most comfortable with him, and he feels the same way. In fact, he told the camera he now goes to bed thinking about Andi, which could be creepy under different circumstances. But now it just shows that Nick is no longer skeptical about “the process.” He’s all in. (First gambling pun on a Mohegan Sun date!)

Andi gave the rose to the guy who was the MVP on and off the court: Brian. Nick looked disappointed, but who cares about a rose when you get the kisses and hand holding? Brian, on the other hand, said getting the rose was better than winning a state championship. Dude, it’s definitely not. 


One on One — Marcus Drops It Like It’s Hawt

Credit: Reality Steve Photo: Marcus Grodd: Final Four

Date card: “Marcus, the sky is the limit”

Andi has a major fear of heights, which therefore must be exploited by producers. She said she actually requested this rappelling date, which sounds like BS, but it’s a “leap of faith” day. Andi told Marcus they had to rappel off a building, and for once, it was Marcus’s turn to say “shut up.” Although heights dates are nothing new, this one was especially scary since it was cold (seriously, wrong time to hit CT) and the wind was FIERCE. The result was not romantic, even with Marcus and his smoldering gaze guiding Andi through the whole process.

Marcus had to hide his own fears to “be the man” and help poor terrified Andi. It was pretty sweet of him, and he definitely deserved his own appreciative make-out sesh. Couldn’t they just have had a nice chat, maybe back in that empty train car? Or just let Marcus strip again? That worked fine the first time. Instead, they rappelled right across from the men’s hotel room window, and Andi wouldn’t even kiss Marcus in front of them. She did say Marcus was flawless, though, which so far seems accurate.

After almost dying, Andi and Marcus ate at the oldest working inn in America. It’s like they went out of their way to un-sexify this date. It still didn’t work, though. Marcus’s perfection trumps wind, heights, cold, and ancient inns.

Apparently someone out there doesn’t agree, though, since Marcus talked about how his ex-girlfriend left him very suddenly and he shut down for a long time. Poor little buddy, but at least he and Andi bonded over their trust issues, and Andi even ITM’d that Marcus doesn’t know what a catch he is. Obviously, he got a rose.

And then, all dressed up with somewhere to go, the pair hit a concert at Mohegan Sun’s Casino of the Sky. It was in a crowded casino, not exactly private, but they danced in the center of the room — to a song about “falling” in love. Get it? Falling? Rappelling? No one said this show was subtle. 


Andi Gets a Love Letter From a Secret Admirer

Back at her hotel, Andi got another special delivery. Because last night’s flowers weren’t enough. She read a “Dear Andi” letter from someone who cares a lot about her. Money on Nick?

Cocktail Party — Goes Down the Drain Fast

At the cocktail party, Andi was totally chill… at first. Brian pulled her back to the court to get the kiss he left before (remember, Brian, “leave it all on the court” is just an expression). Marquel taught Andi a choke hold for some reason, and everyone was goofy.

But things quickly took a serious turn when Eric The Explorer pulled her aside. He told her that he woke up feeling sick that time was a-wasting, which was fine. But then he called her a TV actress, and she was on defense in a way only a gang prosecutor can be.

Eric complained about Andi’s poker face, saying it kept him from being able to read her in their talk. (Wait, is that not a fair thing to comment on?) Andi was quick to jump back at him, saying she stayed up late to make people happy, was exhausted, and that everything he said was offensive. While she confirmed that cameras do exist to film the show, she was insulted at the accusation that she was being fake. Although Eric apologized for a brief sec, it was over.

Eric said he did believe in what they had on the first date, that the moments where she gripped the seats in the helicopter were real. Since then, though, he felt she was acting. Though he regretted leaving, she thanked him for his time and he just walked away. Wow. In his parting words, Eric said it hurt him to see Andi cry. He said maybe this was exactly what he needed to do to find love. That’s so hard to hear, knowing what happened to him. 


Cocktail Party — Andi Is Exhausted, Y’all

Did we say cocktail party? Sorry, we meant real talk o’clock. Andi walked back in guns a-blazing. “Let me just tell y’all something. If any one of y’all thinks this is a joke to me, if any one of y’all thinks that I have a poker face, you can just say it now and you can walk your ass on out. Because it just strikes such a nerve to me that someone can look me in the face and tell me that I have a poker face with all of this when I have done nothing but try to be natural for y’all. Like, this is not easy for me. I am exhausted. I am so exhausted, and I am trying so hard. I really am.” She went full DeAnna Pappas at the barbecue on them. Every single day this is real to her, she said, before walking out. Considering none of the fellas had done anything wrong, it was pretty much an agreed upon silence after that… 


Chris Harrison and Andi Address Eric's Death

After exploiting Eric’s dramatic exit, Chris Harrison said it didn’t feel right to show the Rose Ceremony. Chris sat down with Andi and they talked about the shock and grief of what happened. Andi said there was just more openness with other guys on the show. She had relied on the excitement of the first date, but realized it wasn’t going to work out in the end. When asked if she would have changed anything, Andi said that to be honest, the way he left, it wasn’t ideal. They’re in this bubble together and they know when the dust is settled they’ll see each other again at the “Men Tell All.” But they can’t have that last conversation now.

It’s a tough pill to swallow. Eric’s accident happened while they were on Hometown Dates, and they found out that Eric had died when Chris told them. Andi said it changed her in so many ways. You tend to get caught up in all of it, and she’s guilty of that herself, she explained. To come back from Hometown Dates and realize somebody that you knew in the Bachelor “family” was gone puts everything in perspective. It made all the little things seem irrelevant. 


Who Went Home?

Credit: Rick Rowell/ABC Television Group © 2014 Disney Photo: Tasos Hernandez and Andi Dorfman in the Bachelorette Season 10 Premiere

In a Bachelor first, Chris just announced in his sit-down with Andi that they did film a Rose Ceremony and Tasos was sent home. 

Coming Up in Two Weeks

Two weeks from now (no show next week!) Andi will kiss Josh and Brian multiple times, and there will be some miming done on the group date, which sounds terrifying. Plus, there’s Marquel vs. Andrew drama. Hopefully we’ll get an update from Andrew on whether he plans to call that waitress or just hand the number over to Chris Bukowski...

How do you feel about Andi’s argument with Eric, her speech to the guys, and how the show chose to handle what happened? Do you appreciate the honesty or did it leave a bad taste in your mouth? 


Credit: NDN Photo: Bachelorette Andi Dorfman Breaks Down (VIDEO)