Bachelor Pad 3 is over, and we no longer have a reason to wake up in the morning. Who knows how we'll survive without Ed's pickle, but at least the season went out with a big, weird bang. We've rounded up the top five WTF moments from the finale for you to look back on, so please surround yourself with a box of tissues and a damp bikini. You know, in case things get super emotional and you need to change outfits.
1. Jamie Blinds Us With Her Decorative Headgear
We're worried about Jamie. Clearly, she left Bachelor Pad and immersed herself in a disturbing universe full of vaguely ethnic headgear and bejeweled skin stickers. In other words, she visited 2002 and never returned.
Jaime's unique fashion was one-part 6th grade Backstreet Boys fangirl, one part celtic-warrior chieftain, and a million parts amazing. Although, we do have some concerns that her plastic rhinestones are secretly dermal piercings. Nooooo!
2. Nick Runs Away, Takes Mysterious Bag With Him
After having a meltdown, laughing like a maniac, and giving himself a million high fives, Nick wandered off into the great unknown and hasn't been heard from since. Now, you might think this guy would stick around to get that check for $250k, but nope.
Instead, Nicholas pada burre'd his way through the backwoods of ABC's sound stage and sashayed out the door into an abandoned street — clutching a mysterious bag the entire time. We can only assume said bag contained $250k in cash, a bunch of dead roses, and a human head.
3. Chris' Entire Family Hates Him, Our Love Candle Still Burns
You guys, Chris needs a hug. This poor dude earned himself quite the reputation on Bachelor Pad, and it looks like his cheerful Polish family and their festive costumes of yesteryear aren't about to forgive him.
We met Chris' parents during his hometown date with Emily Maynard, and immediately fell in love with their warmth, kindness, and ability to dance a traditional jig. Basically, Chris comes from a family of Billy Elliots, and right now they are angry dancing. It's ok, Chris. Bachelor Nation is the only family you need, and we love you no matter how many ladies you sexperiment with.
4. Ummmm, Nick Goes Crazy
Remember when Nick was a totally normal person who hadn't developed a sinister laugh and evil smile? Those days are gone, ya'll. Nick showed us his true colors during the finale — which, by the way, are 50 shades of grey and creepy.
Look, we love a good villain (Kalon, anyone?), but Nick's transformation from a beautiful swan into an evil Duckling Duck was terrifying. He seemed moments away from an ugly-crying jag, and even Chris Harrison was like, "yikes...do not want." Sigh, so this is what would happen to Matthew McConaughey if someone took away his yoga matt and yerba mate.
5. Erica Rose Accuses Kalon Of Cheating
First of all, Erica looked fabulous during the Bachelor Pad finale. Shoulder-length hair works wonders for her, and it looks like she overcame any infections she may have picked up in the BP3 swimming pool. But girlfriend was ready for war, and she wasted no time accusing Kalon of cheating on Lindzi at a movie theater in Houston!
Everyone knows that what happens in the back row of a movie theater stays in the back row of a movie theater (no really, so many stains!), but it was slightly uncool of Erica to question Kalon and Lindzi's relationship. Thank goodness Kalon was able to deflect her shade with his spray tan.