Bachelor Pad 3 is almost over (noooooooooo!), which means The Bachelor is almost upon us (yesssssssss!). Shockingly, ABC has yet to announce who the next Bachelor will be, and we're putting our money on Michael Stagliano — children's book author, acoustic songwriter, and all-around cool dude. Check out 5 reasons Michael would make a great Bachelor!
1. He's Had The Worst Dating Luck... Ever
Much like his Bambi forefathers, The Stag has terrible luck with the ladies. First he was stone-cold rejected by Jillian Harrison, then Holly Durst broke off their engagement, and frankly we don't see things working out with Rachel Truehart.
Poor Michael has been looking for love in all the wrong places, and it's time for him to throw caution to the wind and let Chris Harrison take the reins of his dating life. You know what that means: white wine spritzer time!
2. He Works Our Funny Bone
Much like the rest of America, The Stag is both horrified and addicted to the glorious fright fest that is Bachelor Pad 3. His commentary is priceless, and we have no doubt that he'd bring the LOLs if declared Bachelor. Someone needs to take the heavy burden of mocking Chris Harrison off our shoulders. We can't carry this weight alone, Stag!
3. He's a Bachelor Franchise Veteran
Michael has lent his handsome mug to The Bachelorette, Bachelor Pad 2, and Bachelor Pad 3. Honestly, we're kind of offended that ABC hasn't handed him a Bachelor contract on a golden platter encrusted with deer-shaped diamonds.
The Stag knows his way around The Bachelor Franchise like woah, which means he'll flirt with the camera, woo the ladies, and he might even be able to convince Chris Harrison to flat-iron his curls. Dreams do come true, guys!
4. He's An Amazing Kisser
The Stag is the ultimate player of the frolicking deer population. He's kissed every doe that comes his way, and his makeout session with Donna still haunts us on a nightly basis. No seriously, we had to eat our way through, like, seven therapeutic pizzas just to recover.
Despite Donna and her Double Ds, we wouldn't say no to a Bachelor season featuring Michael's makeout sessions. In fact, we'd say yes, yes a thousand times yes!
5. He's Romantic and Adventurous
As you might have guessed from his adventures at the wax museum, Michael loves to have fun! He's a prankster, a thrill-seeker, and above all else, he's a romantic cheeseball (mmm, cheese...). Watching this lovable singleton go on dates would be non-stop entertaining — we can't even imagine the number of dangerous precipices he'd push these ladies off!
Bonus: He's a Breakdancer
OMG, all of our Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo fantasies are finally coming true!