Credit: ABC via WENN

Did you enjoy this week's cornucopia of mouth-watering hotties on Bachelor Pad 3? Join the club — but now comes the hard part. It's time to figure out which dudes and dudettes are at the front of the whack pack! We've ranked the most powerful players from Episode 3 based on their sex appeal, chance of winning, and variable degrees of drunkenness. Check it out!

Name: Jamie
Ranking: 5
Pros: Despite the fact that she spent this entire episode sobbing and draped in glitter, Jamie knows how to work The Pad. She ugly-cried at prom (been there, girl) and even forced herself to kiss David to secure a rose. Girlfriend knows what's up.
Cons: Poor Jamie reached the lowest of lows when she wandered over to Chris' bunk bed with a trough of wine and begged him to sex her up. This kind of behavior isn't going to get you the win, girl.  

Name: Blakeley
Ranking: 4
Pros: Blakeley seriously will not leave this competition. Despite her haters' best efforts, our fave vagina-obsessed lady is in it for the long haul, and this week she blew our wads with her amazing prom fashion. Yes we have some concerns about her breasts exploding in the midst of the competition, but sacrifices must be made.
Cons: We have a feeling Chris Buk-ow-ow-ow-ski is about to throw Blakeley under the bus, and she's foolish enough to trust him. Don't hate the player, hate the game.

Name: The Stag
Ranking: 3
Pros: This hunky man-deer (get it? The Stag?) already has an edge on the competition thanks to winning Bachelor Pad 2, but no one views him as a threat because he claims to be "in it for love!" Hah, likely story. Well played, Stagalicious.
Cons: The Stag has a sexy twin brother, and sometimes we worry that The Real Michael is locked up in a basement while his evil twin steals his identity. Does anyone else face these fears on a nightly basis?

Name: Ed
Ranking: 2
Pros: This week, Ed face-planted in a sea of hot fudge, yet everyone continues to be obsessed with his pickled man-parts. Who knows if it's the drunken sexing, the boozed-up hot tubbing, or the fact that he's in touch with his manmotions, but we have a feeling this guy won't leave the house 'til every last female has given him a pelvic exam.
Cons: There is nothing bad to say about this magical human being. Next!

Name: David
Ranking: 1
Pros: Dude is a total shorty, but being a cage fighter (or whatever) has its perks. David is a clear winner in every competition, and his obsessive super-fan status gives him a major edge. We're pretty sure he knows his way around every curve on Chris Harrison's body.
Cons: David has a giant bullseye on his back because he's a fan, and it's only a matter of time before all the ladies band together to eliminate him.