In last week’s The Bachelorette Season 8, Episode 2,  Arie Luyendyk, Jr., opened up about a past relationship — he most recently dated (and lived with) a single mom with two kids. Arie’s experience being a step-boyfriend stands in stark contrast to Alessandro Goulart and Kalon McMahon, who both announce in tonight’s episode that they would have qualms with playing dad to Em’s sweet 6-year-old girl, Ricki Hendrick.

In tonight’s episode, Arie thoughtfully elaborates on his past experience dating a single mom, seeming obviously moved by the experience. This must be comforting to hear for Emily, who has time and time again pointed out that she’s not just a single 26 year old; she has a daughter who means the world to her and wants to find a husband who will cherish Ricki as she does.

So, inquiring minds want to know: who is Arie’s ex-girlfriend? Her name is Cassie, and we won’t post her last name here, out of respect for her privacy. Of note: she is not Cassie Lambert, the ABC producer Arie briefly dated back in 2003, but another Cassie, from whom Arie split just about a year ago. Cassie is a personal trainer in Arizona and recently got engaged to be married to another guy.