Okay, so Ashley Hebert finally picked JP Rosenbaum on the season finale of The Bachelorette. But what are the chances that this latest couple will survive the fate of so many of their predecessors and never get anywhere near an altar? We conferred once again with Dr. Alisa Robinson, PhD., of askdoctoralisa.com to get some answers. In an exclusive Wetpaint Entertainment interview, Dr. Alisa explains disappointing success rate of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette when it comes to finding love, and tells us how Ashley and JP can buck the trend.
Wetpaint Entertainment: Why do so many of these couples fall apart?
Dr. Alisa Robinson: In The Bachelor and The Bachelorette in general, I think oftentimes the couples seem to really struggle with watching the show after it’s been taped. That process of seeing someone dating other people at the same time as they were dating you may feel similar to the experience of being cheated on. Even though intellectually the contestant knows that when they go off the person is dating other people, emotionally it can still feel hurtful, and feel as though you’ve been betrayed. Different people can handle that differently depending on their history and their background. I think for JP he really demonstrated that he’s a pretty mature guy. He handled it pretty well throughout the show. So that, to me, bodes well in terms of his being able to handle that period of watching her dating other men.
Well, if they're media blitz is anything to go by, they've already survived the viewings happily. But what do they need to do to keep it going?
One thing that’s really important in order for their relationship to succeed is to have realistic expectations about marriage and relationships. On the show they talk a lot about it being a fantasy romance and happily ever after and they even said something about it being a perfect match. Although that’s really wonderful in beginning stages to have such idealistic views of romance, but what I’ve found is that when people have such high expectations, they can set themselves up for disappointment and problems later on down the road. So I hope that Ashley and JP will also have a realistic view of knowing that there is no perfect relationship and there is no perfect person.
Is there something about the show itself that can spell doom for the couples who meet on it?
The show tends to put them on these dates where they’re doing these really thrilling activities, like bungee-jumping or going on helicopter rides. What happens is, when you have adrenaline, it tends to create this bond between people. And research has found that, especially in the early portion of a relationship, if you take two people who may have an attraction to one another and you put them in a scary situation or something where the adrenaline is really rushing, and it intensifies that romantic bond for them. However, that initial kind of attraction only lasts so long. In order for their relationship to last there has to be more than that. There has to be compatibility and a lot of other factors. There’s a lot of excitement and drama going on during their dating and when that’s not there anymore they need to be able find another way to still feel bonded.
How might Ashley and JP do that?
I hope that if they do experience problems in the future they’ll be able to reach out and get support or go to counseling if they need it. I hope the best for those two.
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