Former Bachelorette contestant Julien Hug committed suicide last week, much to the surprise of his friends and family. During his memorial service, which was held today at the Village Church in Rancho Santa Fe, California, his suicide note was read.
RadarOnline has obtained a copy of the heartbreaking note:
Dear Mom and Dad,
I'm sorry to do this. I feel terribly about the grief I've caused. The phantom stomach aches that I have hurts me tremendously. I've suffered from severe depression for years. I feel awful and don't know how to cope. If life's not enjoyable, why stick around? This will hurt you. I'm sorry to have to do this to you. I love you both tremendously. You two are the best parents. You both are 99.999999999 better than most. You guys did it right.
I am so sorry to do this to you. I feel only love for you mom and dad. But I'm terribly sad everyday. I hurt. People will think I took the easy way out. I say I took the smart way out.
Tell everyone I love them. Make sure everyone knows that I just want to be in peace. I love everyone. I'm so sorry to have to do this.
It's the only way I know how.
May Julien rest in peace.
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Julien Hug's Death Ruled a Suicide
Ex-Bachelorette Jillian Harris "Heartbroken" Over Hug's Death
Bachelorette Star Kiptyn Locke Mourns Julien Hug's Death
Former Bachelor and Bachelorette Contestants in Shock About Julien Hug
Remembering Julien Hug: Stories From Season 5 of The Bachelorette
In Memorium:Watch a Video of Julien Hug on The Bachelorette