At this point we can barely get through The Bachelor without crying happy-tears into a thongkini. Each moment is more glorious than the next –– although Chris Harrison was barely featured in Season 17, Episode 4, which was a major OMG moment in a bad way. And speaking of OMGs, we've rounded up the five biggest jaw-droppers of the episode!
Of note: This list does not include Leslie's repeated use of "Holy Moly." That belongs on our list of Things That Make Us Want To Die.
1. Selma Refuses Sean's Kisses!
Sean Lowe might seem like an innocent choir boy, but let's be honest. This dude wants to de-virginize everyone's mouth with his tongue. If he's learned one thing from his tenure as Bachelor, it's that nothing turns a girl on more than being shoved off a giant precipice — so you can imagine poor Sean's shock when Selma Alameri turned down an opportunity to be licked by him.
Turns out this girl has a super conservative family, but our theory? She fell in love with that adorable desert chipmunk and wants to become Cinderella to his Gus.
2. Tierra "Don't Need No Chaperones Anymore"
We're so worried about Tierra LiCausi, by which we mean we're so worried she's going to go crazy and hurl one of her fellow contestants into a roaring fire pit. This bad-girl couldn't find any staircases to throw herself off this week, so instead she had a mental breakdown in some abandoned alleyway, and then lurked in a shadow like Anne Hathaway circa Les Miserables (only even more hungry) until Sean emerged.
We couldn't believe that Sean let himself be manipulated by Tierra's tierrable antics, but this girl deserves a round of applause. She knows how to play the game!
3. Amanda Breaks Her Face
Um, ABC. We need to talk about the fact that all your bachelorettes keep semi-dying in the name of love. First Tierra flopped down the stairs like an overly-excited puppy, and now Amanda's chin is completely whack. We don't know what kind of waivers these ladies have to sign upon entering Bachelor Mansion, but we assume there's a death clause.
Also, we appreciate the fact that Sean's response to Amanda's facial injury was "I feel terrible," because HE SHOULD.
4. Sean Rejects Leslie, Public Humiliation Ensues
Did anyone else notice all the middle aged lurkers on Rodeo Drive that were photographing Sean and Leslie Hughes's date? No wonder the evening was such an epic fail — it was filled with viser-clad voyeurs! Poor Sean was forced to deflower Leslie over dinner, and watching him take back the $500,000 necklace he gave her was the worst thing we've ever seen.
Even worse than that one time Chris Harrison wore linen pants. Even worse than cheese-less pizza.
5. Sean and Catherine Finally Share One-On-One Time
Catherine Giudici might just be our favorite bachelorette in the mansion, but she's barely gotten to spend any alone time with Sean — until now! These two snuck off during cocktail hour for an adorable giggle session, in which Catherine told Sean that he's a hunk and wrinkled her nose a bunch in the cutest way ever.
Yes, their kiss was kind of like re-living a middle school dance, but we have a feeling there's something brewing between these two. And that something is Love Potion.