Credit: ABC via WENN

Another day, another jaw-dropping episode of The Bachelorette. This week, Emily Maynard visited her suitors in their hometowns, so as you might expect, everything was even more deranged than usual. Also, in case anyone cares (which you do), we've founded a new religion based on Jef's hair coif. DM us for details.

1. Jef Holm Is a Poet and We Didn't Know It!
Jef Holm might look like an ordinary hipster with hair that won't quit, but on the inside he's bursting full of rainbows, poetry, and little swimmers that are ready to make a thousand Emily-shaped babies. Apparently, Jef loves writing down his deep thoughts and reading them out loud, ergo, "I'm so excited to meet Ricki.... I want to show her how to fall in love and have a love story that lasts forever, because I'll love you forever."

Oh. Em. Gee. Talking about Jef's letter to Emily is pretty overwhelming, so we're going to paint you a picture of our reaction: Us, face down on the floor, surrounded by flowering cacti and tears.  

2. Sean Tries to Make a Joke, Fails
Apparently, Sean's idea of humor is to make us think he's a momma's boy with a fetish for plush toys. Basically, we spent most of this episode thinking he was a "Furry." And if you don't know what a Furry is, we aren't prepared to go there with you.

Thank goodness Sean was just getting his prankster on, but the image of him fondling stuffed kittens, huskies, and frogs while surrounded by cookie crumbs will forever haunt us.

3. Emily Dances With Some Polish Folks
We love nothing more than getting life lessons about other cultures, and this week we learned about all the Polish peeps in Chicago. Even better? A bunch of randos decided to dress up in traditional folksy outfits and play a jig so Emily could hop around like a little Pied Piper.

As much fun as it was to watch Emily dance, it's just like, take off your festive overalls, put down those fiddles, and feed this girl some cheesy potato dumplings!

BONUS: Ricki Wears Her Hair In Jamaican Braids
No explanation, just wanted to let you know that this is happening right now.

Credit: ABC via WENN
Credit: YouTube Photo: Watch Bachelorette Emily Maynard's Giddy Hometown Date With Jef Holm (VIDEO)