Credit: ABC via WENN

We aren't even close to being emotionally ready for The Bachelorette to be over, and there are only two episodes left before Emily Maynard forces one of her suitors to pop the question. Our hearts are exploding with rainbows, so obviously it's time to revisit the biggest OMG moments of this week's episode. Two words: evil dolphins.

1. Jef Is Shirtless
Please, join us in a prayer circle. It's time to slaughter a turkey and give thanks for Jef's shirtless body. Unfortunately, we were unable to analyze the hills and valleys of his 6 pack because Emily was all up in his grill (ugh, move over), but we did spy him rocking a man necklace. Also, Jef's adorably-striped swim trunks matched his tan skin perfectly. Siiiighhhh, allright –– before this becomes creepy we'll move on to number two. We do, Jef. We do forever.

2. Arie and Emily Almost Get Murdered By Some Dolphins
Nothing's more fun than hanging out with giant dolphins, but the sea creatures in Curacao are not to be messed with. Basically, Arie and Emily dove smack in the middle of a gang war between the dolphin version of Bloods and Crips. Thank god Emily had Arie to protect her, because that one dolphin definitely tried to take her out with his tail. We can only assume all of them were Ryan fans, but it's just like: Get over it, flippers. Go watch A Dolphin Tale starring Morgan Freeman like a normal person.

3. Emily Has a Total Mental Breakdown
Well, Emily seems to be suffering a psychotic break. We're hardly surprised, considering that her day consists of getting wrapped in glitter mumus, having fake ponytails affixed to her hair, and being forced to stare at portraits of her suitors. This week, Emily was brought to tears — but even worse? She was left alone in a corner hiccuping and shivering. We haven't seen ugly-crying like this since we looked at ourselves in the mirror last night after Jef and Emily's date.