Recap of The Bachelorette Season 7, Episode 2: Say "I Do" to William, "I Don't" to Bentley!

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas — ‘cause Ashley Hebert just won’t dump it.

Our Season 7 Bachelorette refuses to eject the crazy; she’s addicted to the crazy. Perpetually Masked Jeff. Bad News Bentley. Anyone inappropriate within 20 feet — he’s in. This is Brad Womack’s doing. As Rosemaster Chris Harrison put it last week, things went so terribly between Ashley and Brad on The Bachelor that she’s making the opposite decisions this season. As it happens, Ash was right to run from Brad, so she’s actually going in the wrong direction now. Hopefully she can find a course correction soon.

But not tonight! Tonight she comes close to making a good call by almost marrying Prince William, then puts the sin right back in Sin City by begging Tickle Me Bentley to stick around.

Since Ashley can’t do anything this week without flipping a coin, someone should just hand her one of those fake coins and tell her if it’s heads, she has to dump Bentley.

Either way, we don’t have to flip anything to know where we stand.

On the keep side (in order of preference): William (at least until he seems to hurt her feelings next week), JP, Ryan P., Constantine, Ben C., Ben F., Mickey, West
On the dump side: Bentley, Masked Jeff, Nick
On the not sure yet side (yes this is a magic three-sided coin): Ames, Blake, Chris, Lucas

Read on for a full unveiling of Episode 2:

DATE WITH WILLIAM
Date card: "Want to make a splash in Vegas? I do. Love, Ashley"

Will is nervous to have the first date; everyone else is surprised and jealous. The guys think Ashley looks smokin’ hot in her tight (very tight!) white mini and leather jacket.

Ashley drives to the airport so she and Prince William can take a private jet to Las Vegas. William obsesses over the fact that he’s there and the other guys are back at the house, as if he, too, is all about the competition. (No! We want someone to actually be there for her!)

Ashley has them test wedding cakes and choose rings and do other pre-wedding stuff. They even head into a little wedding chapel. William is nervous as hell. When he sees her walk down the aisle, instead of running with it, he asks, “Where is your bouquet?” William actually says, “I do,” so… do it, guys! End the show now so we can head straight into Bachelor Pad Season 2.

After Will says, “Babe...?” waiting for her to say, “I do,” she says she will say yes eventually, but not that day. She calls it her best first date ever — take that, Brad’s carnival date!

Ash tells us she’s definitely falling for William after half of a date. That’s fast. Then again, we fell for him two seconds after watching his umbrella fight on the premiere.

They take a rowboat to eat dinner in the middle of the Bellagio fountains. It sounds fun, but they are on display. She has fans yelling down to them, shouting compliments. They are pretty female fans. Is that a good idea, to have them around?

Ashley is looking for someone serious. However, Will has always wanted to be a stand-up comedian. (Yes, he is Weatherman 2.0 like that.) He talks about how family is important to him, including how his father started and ended his days drinking. His dad was left by the side of the road beaten? Yikes. Ashley tears up. She has her own alcoholic father issues, which she revealed to Brad last season on The Bachelor. Will tells her about his watch that stopped when his dad died — the same story he told last week during his intro montage.

Ashley realizes there’s more to Will than his comical side. She wants something serious — a relationship, not just a friend. She gives him a rose, and they kiss. The fountains go off. Is that really necessary, ABC?

GROUP DATE
Date card: “In Sin City, boys will be boys” — with Lucas, Matt, Nick, Ames, Chris D., West, Bentley, Stephen, Constantine, Ben F., Blake, and Ryan M.

The 12 guys watch a Jabbawockeez show, but all of a sudden Ashley emerges from the ground and tells them they’re about to have a dance-off. Ash says dancing isn’t a dealbreaker with her — if a guy can’t dance but he tries, she thinks it’s really cute. So they split up into two dance groups of six guys. One group will win and one group will go home.

Ben F.’s team, No Rhythm Nation, emulates a Rose Ceremony. Constantine’s team, The Best Men, comes up with the idea of doing a wedding theme. No Rhythm Nation actually puts Ashley in the whole routine, which is the obvious thing to do. They win. Cutie Constantine and his team have to go back to L.A.

In Vegas, No Rhythm Nation gets to perform with Jabbawockeez. Dancing in front of thousands of people is Ashley’s dream, so that’s nice. Still, it’d be even nicer to have some romance on this date. After all, isn’t that the point?

After the show, Ashley and the guys enjoy a post-show rooftop party, and Ashley decides to have mini-one-on-ones with each bachelor. Blake The Dentist pulls her aside first. She thinks they have a lot in common but worries that they will both be Type-A personalities clashing.

West pulls her aside next to tells her about his late wife, Sarah, who passed away. He met Sarah when he was 20 and she was 18. They were together for about seven years total, and married for about nine months before she died. (He doesn’t get into details; they are out there in the police report.) It’s a heavy talk, but there are no sparks.

Ash then talks to Bentley, who only wants a rose because he’s competitive. He even admits she’s not his type — despite the fact that she’s “beautiful” and has “a great body, amazing butt, and rockin' legs,” and he wants her to tickle his pickle. During their sit-down, Bentley makes a fuss about getting the last rose of the first Rose Ceremony, and Ashley begs him to stick around… if he feels something for her. She can’t tell the difference between someone who wants to win and someone who wants to be there for her.

She gives Bentley the date rose. Boo!

DATE WITH… MICKEY!
Date card: “Mickey and JP, love is a gamble. I’ll see one of you in Vegas”

It comes with an adorable coin with pics of JP and Mickey on either side. Mickey wins the heads-up toss. We want that coin. Put it on eBay, ABC!

Never mind Drunk Tim — this is the real wasted opportunity. She should’ve gone out with both Mickey and JP. Two hot guys are better than one, no?

They decide they are going to flip the coin for every decision — what kind of wine, who goes to get it, etc. Twenty coin tosses later, Mickey and Ashley sip white wine in a hotel suite, where Mr. Gorgeous talks about his family: He is an only child — sort of — but he has two stepsisters and one stepbrother, and his mother died about six years ago. Another dark date story. (Side note: Are there any people with whole, happy families on this show?)

Back on the ranch, JP holds a pity party for himself for losing that coin toss. He talks to William — two of our favorite guys, bonding. JP thinks Mickey will get a rose.

But in Vegas, Ashley wants to flip a coin on giving Mickey a rose. It works for him — that is one lucky coin — but she said she would have given him a rose anyway.

Later, they dance to “I Do” by Colbie Caillat and kiss in some kind of pool.

COCKTAIL PARTY
JP pulls her away immediately. He felt deflated after losing the coin toss, but now he has his own coin toss — heads he gets a kiss, tails he doesn’t. They kiss. She says she’s not normally the one to lean in for a kiss, but she was all over JP. Can’t blame her. At all. She asks him to be patient and trust her. Good talk!

William gets on people’s nerves with his impressions and his goofing around. He’s “covertly talking trash,” West says. How covert can it be if everyone notices?

The guys continue to give Masked Jeff a hard time, and though we really want to sympathize, this mask thing is beyond ridiculous. However, like the rest of Ashley’s fellas, he too has a sad backstory. At age 29 he had a brain hemorrhage, and his ex-wife found him having seizures on the bathroom floor. He had short-term memory problems as a result, and he’s now divorced... but not because of his health issues. Oh no — his wife of 10 years had been "untruthful." Fun stuff!

Just as he’s about the whip off the mask, Mama’s Boy Matt pulls Ashley aside. The big reveal wouldn’t have meant anything, though: Jeff and Ashley have next to no connection.

Ben C. gets to talk to her next. He is très adorable. He says he had to slay 1,000 Spartans to get in there and compares her to a table in an unbelievable restaurant, it’s so hard to get time with her. He’s a fun motormouth. Keeper!

Bentley is competitive, as we know, and after hearing about William’s date — which he thinks sounds terrible (he’d “rather swim in piss”) — he literally picks up Ashley so they can kiss. He gives her a “let’s not talk” line, which is sounding very Michelle Money. Bentley is totally Michelle 2.0.

Ashley thinks she has good radar when it comes to people who are not sincere. She thinks Bentley is sincere, and she feels something strong for him. “He could be the one for me,” she says. (And we gag.)

Is this all totally staged? It feels fake.

ROSE CEREMONY
William, Bentley, and Mickey all have roses at this point. Ashley tells the guys she thinks her husband is standing in this room.

1. West
2. Constantine
3. Ryan P. (Mr. Sunshine!)
4. Ben C.
5. Nick
6. Ames
7. Lucas
8. The Still Masked Jeff
9. JP (love his attitude!)
10. Chris
11. Ben F.
12. Blake

Who goes home? These three guys are eliminated: Matt Colombo, Stephen D’Amico, and Ryan Miller.

So no going to the Fantasy Suite for Matt and Ashley. Sorry, Mama Gayle (or Gail)! He’s upset ‘cause he lost to a guy with a mask. So he calls his mom again… at 4 AM in L.A.

Stephen and his lovely hair leave without much fuss. Ryan M. got his fan photos, so he should be fine.

COMING UP
Ruh-roh. Does our beloved William go too far in making fun of Ashley? Maybe he isn’t a prince after all...

Are you ready for some Episode 3 spoilers? Here’s what Reality Steve says will happen next week.