This week, The Bachelorette pulled out all the WTF stops. Not only did our favorite bachster (bachelor + hipster) Jef Holm dress up in knee socks, Ryan revealed his sinister side, and Doug and Chris took a trip to Manmotion Mountain. In other words, it was pure gold –– much like Emily's hair.
We've rounded up the top three jaw-dropping moments for you to look back on, which we suggest you read while wearing a flowing white jumpsuit.
1. Jef Holm Wears Knee High Socks To The Rose Ceremony, Remains Hot
Uhm, did anyone else spy with their little eye the outfit that Jef Holm wore to this week's Rose Ceremony? He was dressed up like a wandering hipster minstrel, complete with pleated khaki shorts, knee-high blue socks (which may or may not have been cable knit), and oxford shoes.
Last time we saw this outfit, it was while looking at pictures of our great-grandfather as a youthful Swedish immigrant back in the early 1900s. Never change, Jef.
2. Ryan Reveals His Secret Plan to Be The Bachelor!
You guys, there's an enemy in our camp. Ryan Bowers might be all charming and sexy with that sweet southern drawl and massive neck, but he couldn't care less about winning the keys to Emily's heart. Ryan straight-up admitted that he wants to use his position on The Bachelorette as leverage to be chosen as the next Bachelor, which had us shouting "DEFLOWER HIM" at the screen in a rage.
Let's hope one of the other boys narcs on him to Emily, because this behavior is unacceptable. Actually, it's totally acceptable. Expect a phone call from ABC any day now, Ryan.
3. Doug and Chris Have a Bro-Off About Important Things — Like Their Feelings
This week, Doug slipped his shirtless six pack into an un-zipped hoodie and prepared to battle Chris for the title of "Most Mature Man-Slut." Apparently, Doug thinks he's older and wiser than Chris, because he is, but Chris just isn't having it.
We're fairly certain Doug's former life as a womb fertilizer gives him an edge on Chris, but this man-child won't give up without a fight, and he and Doug almost came to blows during The Rose Ceremony! Sigh, if only Emily and her white jumpsuit of wisdom had been there.
BONUS: The Boys Arrive on Scooters, Manage Not To Kill Themselves
What genius thought it was a good idea for Emily's bachelors to roll into Bermuda as a motorcycle gang? We can only imagine how many innocent sea-chickens had to die as these bad boys drove through town.