There are only four eligible bachelors left in Emily Maynard's love nest, and now she's faced with the impossible task of whittling them down, one stud at a time. Clearly, girlfriend needs help managing her hotties — and that's where we come in.
We've ranked the most powerful players from Season 8, Episode 7, based on their sex appeal, personality, and variable degrees of insanity. Check it out!
Name: Chris Bukowski
Pros: Not only is Chris great at carving bobble heads out of clay and tears, he's also morphed into the sexually frustrated version of whack-a-mole. Dude seriously will not go away. Try as Emily might to deflower him, Chris perseveres time and time again — which we attribute to the copious amounts of time he spends looking out of windows and sunning his Toms sandals.
Cons: Chris is one more ab-flash away from having a total break down. His eyes were permanently watering this week, he seemed shifty, and he even had the audacity to confront Emily. Oh, Chris, you fool. You shall be smited.
Name: Arie Luyendyk, Jr.
Pros: Arie spent most of this episode wearing an elbow-patched blazer that we assume he stole from Jef's closet. He's also a good kisser, but we learned that five weeks ago when he first explored the uncharted territory of Emily's mouth with his tongue.
Cons: How dare Arie lie to Emily about his mysterious (read: brief, longtime ago) affair with one of her producers? We suggest that Emily lock this boy up in one of her favorite dungeons to teach him a lesson. With any luck, he'll come out with a prison tattoo of her name on his abs.
Name: Sean Lowe
Pros: Ran through the streets of Prague desperately trying to find Emily.
Cons: Ran through the streets of Prague desperately trying to find Emily. Get it? They are the same.
Name: Jef Holm
Pros: Where to begin? Jef made our hearts stop with his over-the-top hipster love-making, and don't even get us started on his future as a puppeteer. Emily seems genuinley in love with Jef, and she giggles and smiles around him in a way that she doesn't with the other men.
Cons: The fact that this section exists under Jef's name offends us. There are no cons to speak of, unless being too handsome is a crime. And if it is, we don't want to be friends anymore.