Credit: ABC via WENN

Emily Maynard's life is hard. She has a hoard of men who love her (sigh, girl problems), and is faced with the task of whittling them down, one stud at a time. Clearly, she needs help –– and that's where we come in.  

We've ranked the most powerful players from Season 8, Episode 4, based on their sex appeal, personality, and variable degrees of insanity. Check it out!

Name: Chris Bukowski
Ranking:
5
Pros:
We're still unsure about whether or not Chris is the right guy for Emily, but the fact that he's a mere 25 years old means his man-juice is more viable than ever for baby making. These things are important.
Cons:
Emily wants to have another baby, like, yesterday. It's seriously all she can talk about — other than beach chickens. But is Chris really ready to jump into fatherhood? After all, he only hit puberty, like, five years ago.

Name: Ryan Bowers
Ranking:
4
Pros:
We're 100-percent positive Ryan would look great in a cowl neck sweater. At this point, that's all he has going for him.
Cons:
Where to begin? Not only does Ryan secretly want to be on the Bachelor, he keeps saying things like "the tongue is a doubled-edged sword." Also, we just can't get on board with his irrational distaste for overweight women. Love handles are lovely!

Name: Doug Clerget
Ranking:
3
Pros:
Doug spent most of this episode wearing a halfway un-zipped hoodie over his freshly waxed six-pack. As of now, that is his biggest pro.
Cons:
Doug is quick to anger, so we're not sure how well he'll deal with Ricki's mood swings (girl is so unpredictable). Plus — spoiler alert! — Doug continues to mancry for the rest of the season. Guy just doesn't want to make the first move!

Name: Arie Luyendyk, Jr.
Ranking:
2
Pros:
Whenever Arie and Emily are in a room together, her ovaries explode into a million pieces (in a good way), and she's powerless to resist his sloppy kisses. Arie is a great kisser and an even greater guy — but is he a little too perfect?
Cons:
Arie seems slightly over-eager when it comes to pawing at Emily's lady lumps. Did you see the way he stroked her Grecian jumpsuit during the Rose Ceremony? Do not want.

Name: Jef Holm
Ranking: 1
Pros: How long do you have? This week, we were blown away by Jef's innovative fashion experiments, hair swoopage, and manly fleshwound. That's right, he severed the tip of his finger just to prove his passion for Emily in the sailboat race. If that's not love, we don't wanna know what love is.
Cons: Frankly, we're disapointed that he hasn't showed up to the Rose Ceremony in suspenders yet.


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Credit: YouTube Photo: Bachelorette Deleted Scene! Emily Tells Jef "You're One of the Good Ones" (VIDEO)