Credit: Video Still

Remember when it was a bad thing to be cornered by a guy in a dark alley? Oh, Arie Luyendyk, Jr., the rules just don't apply to you and your sextacular (and witty!) ways. Our imaginations are still busy against that wall in Dubrovnik, but you go ahead and read these 10 quotes from The Bachelorette Season 8, Episode 6. And take Emily Maynard with you, m’kay? She’s kind of in the way...

10. Emily: "I'm really bummed out Travis Pope didn't take his shirt off. I've been wondering, like, what's underneath that shirt?"
Shelly the Egg’s cousin? Or one of Ryan's sassy white tank tops?

9. Emily: “Brave is about a girl who is trying to figure out her place in the world. I like to think it's kind of like what I'm doing to."
Um, isn't the Brave girl trying *not* to get married and have babies and you're trying to get married and pregnant ASAP?

8. Ryan Bowers: "Every man should believe his wife is a trophy."
Emily: "Trophies don't talk back."
In that case, Ryan should work on being the perfect trophy husband.

7. Arie: "Last week it's a dress. This week it's a kilt."
Next week it's a muumuu. After that — birthday suit. And you’ll still be riding that donkey, so … prepare.

6. Emily: "I'm not gonna lie, it was impressive. Sean looked friggin' hot."
Genetically gifted Hulk smash log!

5. Emily: "I just love being around you."
Arie: "I love you being around you. I wish I could just steal you away."
Well, you know, if she’s busy, [shuffles feet], you could steal *us* away...

4. Arie: "Ryan is a [bleep]. That's all I can really say."
Perhaps if you tried writing a seven-page letter or a 12-point list you’d have more to say...

3. Chris Bukowski [on Ryan]: "It takes the guy three hours to get ready. I mean, he shaves his legs and plucks his finger hairs and stuff."
Ah. Perhaps this explains the ladies tank top.

2. Jef Holm [to Emily]: "Can I tell you a secret? I'm freaking crazy about you."
Squee! Now share the secret of your gravity-defying hair...

1. Arie: "If Ryan is the next Bachelor then the Bachelorette is a mirror."
If the next Bachelorette were literally a mirror it would still probably show more personality than Bachelor Ben!