Don't interrupt Emily Maynard. Don't call marrying her and raising her kid a "compromise." Don't present her with an ostrich egg named Shelley — unless you want her to smash it. Don't be younger than her. Don't cry about your child in front of her. Do, however, check out our 10 favorites quotes from The Bachelorette Season 8, Episode 3 — and do picture a shirtless Sean Lowe doing push-ups in a cape and Spandex as you read. It improves the experience.
10. Jef Holm [to Emily]: "I have a major crush on you."
I totally etched your name into my skateboard, man!
9. Emily [to Chris Bukowski]: "If I saw you across the bar I would not talk to you."
Especially if you brought your bobblehead dolls.
8. Sean [to Emily]: "For the past 28 years my dad has shown me how to be the perfect father and without a shadow of a doubt I could step into any role and be the greatest father in the world."
Swoon! Although, experience with a great dad is not the same as experience being a great dad to kids. But whatever, don’t look a genetic gift in the mouth!
7. Emily’s friend Wendy [to Sean]: "You'd look good in a cape or some Spandex. Wanna take your shirt off for us?"
Someone should give Wendy a free ticket to the next Chippendales show in Vegas. Jake Pavelka, can you set her up?
6. Kalon McMahon [to Emily]: "I love it when you talk but I wish you'd let me finish."
She'd probably love you to stop slicking your hair back and start powdering your shiny face. Nobody’s perfect!
5. Ryan Bowers [on a fat Emily]: "I would still love you I just might not love on you as much."
After a line like that, you probably won’t have to worry about lovin’ on anyone.
4. Emily [to Arie Luyendyk, Jr., after meeting Dolly Parton]: “I could die. I could die. This is like the best moment of my life.”
Should Arie leave you two alone? You do realize you’re there to date him not her, right?
3. Emily [on Kalon]: "I do like tall, skinny and funny but I don't like tall, skinny and condescending."
How about tall, skinny, funny, condescending and disliked by a lot of the guys — but with access to a helicopter and Erica Rose?
2. Travis Pope “We are going to set Shelley free.”
Can you set Ryan’s ego free next?
1. Emily’s friend Wendy: "Sean is like a genetic gift to the world."
If Sean is single after this, he should give Wendy a call. After calling us, of course.