You guys, it's all happening. The Bachelorette has morphed into the wondrous WTF-fest that we've come to know and love, and it's all thanks to a man and his egg. You were doubtless OMG-ing yourself silly during this week's episode, so we've rounded up the top three jaw-dropping moments for you to look back on. Enjoy!
1. Egg Man Goes Insane, Smashes His Egg
Remember when Travis showed up with a giant egg and announced that it represented Ricki and Emily? He's been tragically absent during the last few weeks of The Bachelorette, but apparently he developed a sinister relationship with his egg (now named "Shelley") and wants to kill it. In fact, he made Emily partake in a ritualistic egg smashing outside the mansion, where he murdered Shelley in cold blood.
We're not sure what to make of this latest development in Travis' insanity spiral, but it's clear that Chris Harrison should assign a security detail to watch Ricki 24/7. RIP, Shells.
2. Alessandro Dated His Cousin
Alessandro has been lurking in the background so far, but this week he climbed the ranks and earned some much-needed screen time. You see, Alessandro has something he needs to get off his hairy chest: He once dated a family member. Shhh, don't judge him. Emily made that mistake, and now she'll never have the pleasure of running her hands through his silken hair.
Turns out that Alessandro's last serious relationship was with his third cousin, a fact that he was more than willing to share. We pray for his future children.
3. Emily and Arie Make Out In Dollywood, Everyone Remains Uncomfortable
We don't know whether it's his slightly floppy hair or his carefully placed eyebrows, but Arie Luyendyk, Jr. knows how to make girls swoon. Emily could barely contain her raging lady hormones in his presence, and had cameras not been around for their date-night, we're pretty sure they would have made sweet love all over Dolly Parton's hay bales.
Instead, Emily and Arie had one of the hottest makeout sessions in Bachelorette history, although there was almost zero tongue involved. Way to censor, ABC.
BONUS: Tony Suffers An Emotional Breakdown
Living under Chris Harrison's reign of rose terror is enough to stress anyone out, and poor Tony just can't take it anymore. He was so overwhelmed with feelings, that he had to escape from cocktail hour and huddle up by a brick wall to sob hysterically. Poor dude misses his son, so clearly Emily had no choice but to kick him out of her love nest. Next!