Why does America hate Kalon McMahon? Forget The Bachelorette, he didn’t belong there. Bachelor Pad 3 is his zone. He’s playing both sides, lying to everyone and pretending to like Erica Rose. It’s only a matter of time before he gets caught. He’s gold. (Can we keep him, mama?) Here are a few of Kalon’s best quotes from the BP3 premiere.

7. Kalon: "Like anybody else, I need the $250,000. Helicopter fuel is expensive."
Not to mention all the *baggage* in the cargo.

6. Kalon: "I'm pretty sure America hates me."
Set your sights on Canada. If they can love Justin “Rated R” Rego, they can love you.

5. Kalon: "The way the world works now is you're a villain if you speak your mind."
Only if what’s on your mind is nasty. And you get the “villain” music. And they need a “villain” for storyline purposes. Since this season is packed with “villains,” you may be safe.

4. Kalon: "I'm extremely sensitive toward women."
I’m very aware of what will insult them and that’s what I say.

3. Tony Pieper: "Kalon's my bitch. Who's my bitch? Kalon."
The sobbing single dad, everyone!

2. Kalon: “I've told every single person here I'm in their alliance. Does that make me a bad person or is it everything else I do that makes me a bad person?”
Emily Maynard, wanna take this one?

1. Kalon: "Guess what, America, your favorite villain is back on Bachelor Pad. I'm going to ruin your f--king summer."
Those Jersey Shore girls are already hard at work on that. Pick another task.