Life is so complicated when you're a twin. Just ask Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen. We literally can't tell them apart. They both look like really hungry children wearing ponchos and it's completely confusing — much like Sutton (Alexandra Chando) and Emma's ever-complicated game of switcheroo.
Sutton wants to be Emma, Emma wants to be Sutton, Ethan (Blair Redford) wants to sow his wild oats in both Emma and Sutton, and meanwhile there's a crazy murderer on the loose. Someone tell us what's happening because we're having an identity crisis.
Love Cabin Shack, Baby!
Remember last week when Ethan got drunk and had floppy-haired cabin sex with Sutton? Well, dude is totally grossed out. Mostly because sleeping with Sutton is so not as good as sleeping with Emma, even though they have the exact same body. Poor Ethan can barely resist the urge to mouth-vom everytime Sutton is in the room, and girlfriend is less than pleased.
By the way, Ethan is still flunking out of school. Probably because he spends his free time talking to his best friend, an empty bottle of beer. Thanks to his brief flirtation with plagiarism, Ethan has to ace some mysterious test or end up in juvie, so Emma offers to tutor him! Um, it's like you've never even seen a 90s rom-com, Emma. Everyone knows that tutoring is code for "making out with tongue," ah-duh!
Look, we're thrilled that Emma's spending some quality time teaching Ethan how to write his name in cursive or whatever, but what about Thayer "Orphan Annie" Rybak (Christian Alexander)? Need we remind you that Emma pity-made out with him at Rebecca Sewell's party? These two are still getting close, but Emma's tutelage of Ethan is definitely getting in the way of their relationship. In fact, Emma bails on Thayer to tutor Ethan, and boyfriend gets a major case of The Sads.
Does anyone understand why Emma is still pretending to be Sutton? It made sense back when Sutton had that weird facial deformity (read: small scar), but there's no real reason the Suttster can't assume her real identity –– and she's ready to do just that!
Girlfriend is majorly jealous of her sister's innocent tutor sessions with Ethan, so she tells Emma to step aside. Of course, Emma is like, "bitch, please" and they end up dueling it out in a tennis match. The terms? Winner gets to be Sutton and loser has to stay in the cabin! Oh, and Sutton drops the bombshell that she slept with Ethan to throw Emma off her game. The nerve!
Unfortunately, Emma has to forfeit the match in order to say goodbye to Thayer, because apparently he's moving L.A. to pursue his dreams as a nerd (sigh, such a drama queen). So it looks like Sutton is ready to reclaim her throne! Plus, now girlfriend can destroy her parent's marriage from the inside....
Get Out Of Jail Free
Bad news, People Who Are Terrified Of Alec (Adrian Pasdar). Our favorite sociopath is out of jail, and we are quivering in our boots. Mostly of the fact that he'll leap out of the screen and kill us with a tire iron. Yep, Alec is free, free as a bird now, and he's determine to figure out who framed him for Derek's murder. But, wait? What if he framed himself? We know, meta-framing. This is like college all over again.
Thayer hacks Alec's phone and discovers a call was placed to Jessica Whitman –– but the call came from Flagstaff, and Alec was in Phoenix. Foiled again! By the way, how has no one noticed that Rebecca Sewell is clearly framing her hubby? She'll stop at nothing to ensure that Alec stays behind bars so she can fulfill her master plan to date Ted (Andy Buckley), and she's less than thrilled when her hubby returns home. By which we mean they have really weird candle-lit sex.
Speaking of Rebecca, let's chat about her stepson, Jordan. This hottie has been in town for five minutes and he's already in the midst of an epic love triangle between Laurel (Allie Gonino) and Mads (Alice Greczyn). Laurel decides to ask Jordan out, and considering that Rebecca threatens to expose his secrets if he doesn't date her, dude says heck yeah. Unfortunately, Mads totally cockblocks Laurel and ends up making out with Jordan in front of her. Bridle your passions, Madeline. You are related to this dude. He is your brother. Well, stepbrother. But still!
In other news, Kristin's (Helen Slater) house is falling apart and it looks like she needs a man. Because as we all know, women don't understand, like, pipes or whatever. Too bad Kristin kicked Ted out of the house, but don't worry! They totally have a bonding session about all the refuse in their sink and it's completely adorable. You know, in a middle-aged parent kind of way. Do you think these two will get back together, or will Sutton's arrival in the house ruin their relationship all over again?