Please grab a CD player, pop in "Emma and Lexi's Summer Jamz" (best mix ever, duh), and join us as we drift away on a cloud of WTFs. The Lying Game had even more twists and turns than usual this week, but we could barely contain our jaw-drops especially when Ethan (Blair Redford) and his locks of love sashayed onto the screen.
 
Check out the 5 biggest WTF moments of the episode, and feel free to add to this list in the comments!

1. The Mercer Cabin Is Basically A Sex Lair
We are so worried about all the unclean sheets at The Mercer Cabin. The Lying Game's very own Chamber of Secrets has pretty much become a sex den for grifters, and it just feels so wrong. First, Sutton (Alexandra Chando) and Ethan made sweet love all over the floor (making everything smell like hemp and stale beer while doing so), and now Alec (Adrian Pasdar) and Rebecca (Charisma Carpenter) are spreading their middle-aged sex germs all over the place. Someone needs to burn this cabin to the ground before it becomes a bio-hazard.

2. Thayer Is A Surfer Now...So...Yeah...That's Happening
Thayer (Christian Alexander) is such a mysterious young sprite. Just when we've written this sad orphan child off as a mega-nerd, he moves to California, buys himself a surfboard, and starts wandering around in a wetsuit for no apparent reason. Looks like it only took Thayer two days to become a surfing expert, so we can only assume his biological father is Patrick Swayze circa Point Break. It's literally the only option that makes sense, guys.

3. Emma Stays In a Motel Filled With Prostitutes
We've learned so much about the great city of Phoenix thanks to The Lying Game. Turns out this magical land has more to offer than a just country club it's also home to a super sleazy motel that allows underage teens to rent rooms next to fleets of prostitutes! Because remember no one in Phoenix cards.

4. Um, Who Is Carl and Why Do We Love Him So Much?
Please meet our new best friend, Carl. He doesn't have a last name, kind of like Cher. This dude works at Phoenix's only motel, and OMG guys, guess what? He's an artist who loves nothing more than drawing charcoal portraits of middle aged women. Considering that the parental units on this show love themselves an ill-advised adoption, we're keeping our fingers crossed that someone will take this dude in. We need Carl and his completely deranged artistic genius in our lives, like yesterday.

5. Ethan's Pretty In Pink
Did anyone else notice that our boy Ethan Whitehorse was rocking neon pink lipstick throughout this entire episode? He's never looked so fresh-faced, beautiful, and '80s-themed. Maybe he's born with it. Maybe it's Maybelline?

Bonus: Title of Ethan's Faulkner Book Is Simply "Faulkner"
Oh, didn't you guys know? When he wasn't busy writing As I Lay Dying and The Sound and the Fury, William Faulkner penned his biography "Faulkner" a simple story of a man with a magnificent mustache.