LISA VANDERPUMP VS. ADRIENNE MALOOF INSTIGATOR: Adrienne WHY: Where do we begin? Adrienne accuses Lisa of giving her dog a hurtful nickname, disrespecting her shoe line, not holding Pandora’s party at the Palms, insulting Bernie’s cooking, and selling stories to RadarOnline. (Give us a minute — we need to catch our breath after that interminable list!) WINNER: It’s a toss-up. We do think Lisa has reason to feel blindsided by the many accusations that came her way during the reunion. Since when did Adrienne get so sensitive? Sure, Lisa sometimes cracks jokes without thinking of the consequences — and some of her jokes can cross the line. We see where Adrienne’s coming from. But does Adrienne really need to go to the mat over such minor quibbles as Lisa saying “Crackpot,” or calling her shoes “pink” instead of “nude”? And we’re not sure what to think about Adrienne’s unrelenting accusations of Lisa selling stories, but it’s safe to say that Lisa’s free cooking lessons are over.
CAMILLE GRAMMER VS. TAYLOR ARMSTRONG INSTIGATOR: Camille WHY: Camille says that Taylor goaded her into talking about Russell’s abuse, that Taylor shouldn’t have gone on a reality show if she didn’t want people talking about her personal life, and that the season shouldn’t have aired at all out of respect for Kennedy. WINNER: No decision. Camille has a point that Bravo maybe could have pulled the plug on the whole season, but at the same time, the season did shed light on the issue of domestic abuse. As for Camille talking about Russell’s abuse on camera, we doubt these two will ever be on the same page about that.
LISA VANDERPUMP VS. KYLE RICHARDS INSTIGATOR: Kyle WHY: Kyle is upset that Lisa said she’s desperate for attention, leading Lisa to bring up Kyle’s temper. When Lisa tries to make amends, Kyle says that Lisa is as calculating as a chess player. WINNER: Lisa. This one could go either way, but we can’t give Kyle the win because of her harsh remark comparing Lisa to Bobby Fischer. And perhaps Lisa’s comment about Kyle seeking attention was a tad catty and retaliatory, but doesn’t Kyle realize that people will make such comments when you do the splits at not one but two parties? Let’s save the splits for this summer’s Olympics, shall we?