It was a emotional hour of kitten heels, creepy bird sex, traitors, dead studs, and the faint stench of despair on The Secret Circe Season 1, Episode 16, “Lucky.” We’ve rounded up the top five OMG moments for you to look back on. RIP ya'll!
1. Adam and Cassie Have Sex, Flock of Seagulls Peep on Them
You know you're having hot sex when a bunch of birds swarm your house to get in on the action, right? Wrong. Adam (Thomas Dekker) and Cassie's (Britt Robertson) sweet love making was overdue, but it was also completely horrible. Let's break this thing down.
After a day filled with tearful man-motion, Adam heads over to Cassie house where she promptly tells him that she almost killed his dad. Total turn on, obviously, so Adam drops the L-word, grabs her butt and proceeds to peel of his shirt. As the camera pans away, a huge amount of black birds swarm the roof while Adam presumably cries all over Cassie's boobs inside. We've always had a feeling pigeons were total perverts.
2. Adam Drops the L-Word, Cassie Looks Revolted
Someone needs to start a support group for Adam, because we're worried about his mental health. After weeks of "wooing" Cassie with his eyelashes and collection of candles, Adam finally said "I love you" only to have Cassie stare at him in horror.
Poor girl had no choice but to stop Adam's word-vomit with a makeout session, followed by some love-making. Clearly, Cassie's hoping that she can distract Adam with a spellgasm, but she forgot to bring his favorite sex-toy: A can of whipped cream. You in trouble, girl.
3. Ethan Shivs Blackwell, Is a Traitor!
Well, guess we know why Drunk Dad is so drunk all the time. He's drowning in guilt about being responsible for the deaths of all his friends and loved ones. Way to kill all your besties, Ethan (Adam Harrington). No amount of Four Loko can save you from yourself.
Turns out Ethan hates Blackwell so much that he teamed up with the witch hunters 16 years ago in an effort to kill him. That plan backfired, but Ethan's determined to finish what he started, so he stabs Blackwell in the parking lot outside of the school dance. Honestly, we're just worried about getting blood stains on Blackwell's fabulous overcoat.
4. Lee Morphs Into a Dead Old Man, Remains Hot
We tried to emotionally prepare ourselves for the inevitable death on this week's Secret Circle, but we were still blindsided when Eva turned Lee into creepy old man. So many questions: One: How did Eva morph into a witch during her coma? Two: Is Lee officially dead, or should we be calling old people's homes? Three: How long do we need to mourn for before moving on to Diana's hunky Australian boy?
It was a good ride, Lee. We'll never forget the way you looked in a leather jacket, nor the careful art with which you crafted voodoo dolls. You'll live on forever in our dreams and fan-fiction!
5. Cassie and Adam Are Cursed!
So, it turns out the stars don't have Adam’s and Cassie's backs after all. After weeks of hearing about these two being fated, Blackwell dropped the huge bomb that — whoops — they're actually cursed. Which might explain the fact that hundreds of pervy pigeons peeped on their sex.
But we're confused: What are the implications of Cassie and Adam's curse, and why hasn't John Blackwell told Cassie about it? If Blackwell's really trying to protect Cassie, you'd think he'd want to prevent Adam from accidentally fertilizing her womb with a demon baby.