Who needs sex education classes when The Secret Circle is around? This week, Cassie (Britt Robertson) and the gang got up to their usual antics (unlocking car locks, etc), but they also learned a valuable lesson about teenage witch sex: It kills wildlife.
Last time we checked in on Cassie and Adam (Thomas Dekker), they were passionately making love while a flock of birds entered into a murder/suicide pact above their heads. If you're shocked that their union caused the extinction of an entire species, don't worry – John Blackwell has all the answers. He strolls over to Cassie's house the morning after, and explains that she and Adam's magical sexperiments activated an ancient curse. Oh no they did not!
Because Blackwell doesn't know the details of said curse, Cassie and her pops visit Grandma Jane (Ashley Crow) at her "retreat" (read: psych ward) to get more information. Jane's just as insane in the membrane as ever, and proceeds to have an entire conversation with Cassie as if she was Amelia. She explains that a witch cast a spell on the Conants and Blakes, and that someone in the Circle will die if the curse is awakened. Too little too late, old lady.
Cassie and Adam are deeply wounded by the whole star-crossed love fail, but when they tell the rest of the Circle, everyone just eye-rolls and vomits in their mouths (actually, that's just Faye). No one wants anything to do with Cadam's freaky fornication curse, so they head over to Jake's (Chris Zylka) house only to find him shirtless and veiny. Noooo, damn you and your sexual urges, Adam!
Into the Woods We Go
If you're completely panicked by the thought of Jake dying, don't worry. Blackwell finds an elixir to break the curse (like a boss!) and suggests they go see Calvin – you know, that nice old man that Jake murdered. The whole crew head to Calvin's shop only to find him missing (uhm, police?), grab some supplies, and then realize they don't have any "leafy root." Well, you know what that means: a trip to the woods.
Adam, Cassie, and Jake head to the forest, and while they're wandering around aimlessly, Jake goes bat-crazy and starts yelling at a water bottle. Apparently poor dude thought it was a deathly cruid, which made him feel all kinds of manmotions. To make matters worse, Cassie sticks her hand down Jake's V-neck and discovers that his weird vein has spread to his heart!
Back in Chance Harbor, everyone's still unsure about whether or not to trust John Blackwell. Dawn (Natasha Henstridge) wants Charles' (Gale Harold) help getting him on their side, so they head over to Grandma Jane's asylum for some answers. By which we mean Charles rubs his crystal rock all over Jane's face.
Meanwhile, Faye (Phoebe Tonkin) stops by the occult shop to check in with her man and finds Eva, looking alarmingly unhinged. Faye's convinced that Eva's hiding something, so she enlists Diana (Shelley Hennig) and Melissa's (Jessica Parker Kennedy) help and the three of them break into Lee's car, only to get stopped by the police. Luckily, Eva lets them go, and they head over to the shack in the woods for some bonding time with John Blackwell. By the way, do we sense some sexy tension between him and Melissa? Either that or he's her secret dad...
While the rest of the Circle mix potions and flirt with Blackwell, Faye sneaks off to Lee's house only to find out that Eva has magic – her magic. Eva confesses that she accidentally killed Lee, and threatens to kill Faye if she doesn't help bring him back to life. Of course, they get into a huge cat fight and then Faye breaks Eva's voodoo doll and regains her power, leaving Eva a confused murderer with great taste in sundresses.
Back in the woods, Jake suffers hallucinations and tries to strangle Adam to death after mistaking him for Calvin. Cassie can't use her magic, so she squints her eyes at Adam until he has the power to throw Jake off his delicate body. Phew! Next stop, the clubhouse, where Cassie and Adam drink Blackwell's potion before bird flu takes Jake. The problem? The potion erases Adam's feelings for Cassie (but not before he has a complete emotional breakdown), and the next morning he realizes that he isn't in love with her. The bigger problem? Cassie still loves Adam.
Of course, that's child's play compared to what comes next: Dawn confronts Blackwell about his trip to see Amelia, and he admits to killing the birds, manipulating Jane into telling Cassie there was a curse on her family, and getting Adam to drink the elixir to forget his feelings. That's right, nothing is as it seems! Oh, and in case you're wondering, Jake is a complete emotional wreck. We haven't seen a studly breakdown like this since Nick circa our memories.