Credit: Sergi Bachlakov/The CW ©2012 The CW Network Photo: Adam in Season 1, Episode 15: “Return”

This week’s Secret Circle quotes were even more snarky than usual, but hey – that’s what happens when people go to a ‘90s rave and have spellgasms. Check out the top 10 quips from “Return” – and heads up Team Cake, you might want to shield yourself from Adam (Thomas Dekker) and Cassie’s (Britt Robertson) flirtatious banter!

10. Diana (Shelley Hennig) sighs at Cassie: “Why do all the men in my life like you more than me?”
We don’t get it either, girl.
 
9. Adam attempts to flirt: “Look at us, a couple of working stiffs.”
Oh, Adam. Someone needs to learn how to make a joke.

8. Faye (Phoebe Tonkin) contemplates hooking up with Lee: “Date below my station? No. Total power mis-match.”
We don’t know, Lee is pretty hot compared to Faye’s current boyfriend – a crazy voodoo doll.

7. Faye mocks Melissa’s (Jessica Parker Kennedy) crush on Callum: “I bet you could get a two-for-one deal in rehab.”
See, Adam? Now that’s how you make a joke!

6. Callum gets Melissa high: “Want a little devil spirit? Take the edge off your judgementalness.”
But nothing can take the edge off her snark!

5. Blackwell warns Cassie: “Put the branch down!”
Sigh, the ever-present dangers of Elderberry.

4. Callum hits on Faye and Melissa: “I’m throwing a party at my place later. You ladies interested in making it even more awesome?”
The party don’t start ‘til Faye walks in.

3. Faye teases Diana: “It’s adorable how clingy you are in relationships.”
Poor Diana can’t even keep her girlfriends interested.
 
2. Lee makes us LOL: “Voodoo’s a whole different world. There’s a right and a left hand path. Callum practices left. Evil, malicious juju.”
Whoever wrote this sentence deserves a Golden Globe.

1. Faye side-eyes Lee: “Nothing says ‘I care’ like a power-sucking totem.”
Somehow we get the feeling she’s being sarcastic.

 

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