The extended promo for Season 1, Episode 20 of The Secret Circle is 31 jam-packed seconds of love children, candlelight, and sad clowns! If you watched this clip and still feel like you have no idea whether or not Jake (Chris Zylka) was shirtless (answer: He was), fear not. We’ve parsed through every millisecond of promo content and created a detailed analysis of what’s to come!
0:01 – Cassie (Britt Robertson) Looks Completely Crazy
Voice bubble: "Yeah, I added more extensions to my hair. Deal with it."
0:02 – Adam (Thomas Dekker) and Melissa (Jessica Parker Kennedy) Appear Judgmental
Ever since they bonded in the fires of Mordor (read: That weird, creepy mine), they've been inseparable.
0:04 – Dawn (Natasha Henstridge) Seems Shocked, Might Be Having a Mild Stroke
She's finally come to the realization that she spent her glory years talking to pet rocks.
0:06 – Adam, Melissa, and Blackwell (Joe Lando) Chat in Flickering Candlelight
Um, last time we checked this was 2012 and electricity had been invented.
0:08 – The Table Spins Around and We Try Not to Vomit
It's hard to know whether this is the work of CW interns or Cassie's elderberry stick.
0:10 – The Gang Head to an Amusement Park, Yay!
Taking a break from magic to frolic on a merry-go round? We approve.
0:11 – Terrifying Clown Leers at the Camera
Adam? Is that you?
0:12 – Faye (Phoebe Tonkin) Hangs With Some Chuckie Dolls
One more reasons to burn our American Girl collection.
0:14 – Melissa Gets Attacked by a Clown, Adam Tries Not to Shriek in Terror
Our childhood circus memories are officially ruined.
0:14 – Jake Looks Studly, Makes an IDGAF Face
He's too worried about the state of his hair to care about clowns. Is it middle-parting or is it side-parting? Make up your mind, coif!
0:15 – Shirtless Jake! We Repeat: Shirtless Jake!
Looks like we're in for another hot hookup courtesy of Fake. Excuse us, it's GIF time.
0:17 – Charles (Gale Harold) Smacks Blackwell Across the Face at the Coffee Shop
Woah, there. Aren't coffee joints sacred territory in Washington? Uncool, Charles.
0:18 – Cassie and Diana (Shelley Hennig) Run Around the Carnival
Letting their Balcoin pride flags fly free.
0:19 – Jake Says "There's Four of Us and One of Him"
Erm, last time we checked there were five of you. Adam has feelings, too, Jake.
0:20 – A Shadowy Shape Runs in Slow Motion
Probably Adam doing an experimental modern dance.
0:21 – Charles Knocks Blackwell Over a Table
Doesn't Blackwell have dark magic? Color us unimpressed.
0:25 – Cassie and Diana Stand Side-By-Side and Look Crazy
Harry and Malfoy all over again.