Do you love Secret Life of the American Teenager unconditionally? So do we! But sometimes we scratch out heads and go: “What the whaaaa?” If you ended this episode filled with Secret Life joy, but also some mild confusion about certain teens and their sexy antics, you’re in luck! We’ve rounded up the biggest WTF moments from season 4, episode 10, “4-1-1.”
1. Ricky’s T-Bone dinner! At this point, we can’t get through an episode of Secret Life without the Rickster stuffing his face with sausage, but we’ve finally realized what this obsession is all about: meat gives The Rickster superpowers. Check it: Ricky was holding a grudge against Amy for an entire week, but once he got a fix of T-Bone, he was a changed man. It’s allllll coming together.
2. SOS: Ashley is whoring out her body to science! Seriously, someone, anyone please go to Florida and check on Ashley. We don’t know where she’s living, who she’s boning, or what she’s doing, but the fact that she considered enrolling herself into some random drug study can’t be a good sign. Save our ship!
3. Foster kids don’t eat breakfast? Jumping from foster home to foster home can be rough, especially for a stud like Ricky and his equally bad to the bone(r) brother-from-another mother, Ethan. That’s right, apparently the Preggers City foster system doesn’t allow kids to eat breakfast — the most important meal of the day! However they do enforce a high protein diet, which leads us to ...
4. News Flash: E-mail is dead! Um you guys? The Internet is over. Amy said so. Cancel all your accounts because all the cool kids have moved on from e-mail and are composing their most important messages via text and sext.
5. Fact: Hot college boys think married high schoolers are sexy. In case you’re looking for a few fool-proof flirting tips, here are some courtesy of our girl Adrian: a) Slip into a red hot dress. b) Tell date you’re married. c) Tell date you’re in love with your frenemy’s baby daddy. d) Commence makeout session.
6. Sexting = Jailtime. We can always count on Secret Life to teach us valuable life lessons about the dangers of cyber space — and while sexting naked photos is no laughing matter, we have to LOL just a little bit about the overt moral story during last night’s episode. The only way the writers could have made it more clear that they don’t want teens to sext is if Ethan had dropped dead.