Credit: Randy Holmes/ABC Family Channel Photo: John & Moose Take A Nap Together in Episode 4.03, "When Opportunity Knocks"

Do you love Secret Life of the American Teenager unconditionally? So do we! But sometimes we scratch out heads and go: “What the whaaaa?” If you ended this episode filled with Secret Life joy, but also some mild confusion about certain teens and their sexy antics, you’re in luck! We’ve rounded up the biggest WTF moments from last night’s amazeballs episode, “When Opportunity Knocks.”

1. Does baby John sleep in a dog bed? Did anyone catch that quick shot of Baby John passed out on the floor next to the family dog? Um ... we know Ricky and Amy’s apartment is small, but we always just assumed John slept in his own room –– or at least in an actual bed. We’re worried.  

2. Does Katelyn O’Malley not own a mirror? It’s no wonder the Secret Life boys are so obsessed with sex when their guidance counselor wanders around the hallways dressed like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman (pre-makeover). Seriously, we’re pretty sure Katelyn was sporting a Herve Leger dress: There was not one inch of that woman’s hot body that wasn’t all up in out bidnezz. Not that we’re complaining, though the parents of Grant High might be sometime soon.

3. Do these people eat anything other than spaghetti and meat sauce? The meat sauce epidemic has to stop. For realz, it might be what’s getting girls pregnant. How about a veggie or fruit now and then? And no, bananas do not count.

Credit: ABC Family Photo: Ben Smirks At The Butcher Shop in Episode 4.03, "When Opportunity Knocks"

4. Is Ricky a secret Communist? We always knew there was something shady about Ricky, but little did we know it was his ties to a mysterious group of Buddhist Communists living in southern California. Or something. Ask George, he’s the resident history expert in the neighborhood.

5. Is Ben the worst person EVER? We love to make fun of Ben, but it’s just because we have such a huge sausage crush on him. He’s totally adorable! Until now, that is. Could you believe it when he sexed up Adrian even though he has no interest in dating her? This is so not the kind of behavior we expect from royalty. Kate Middleton is pissed.

Credit: ABC Family Photo: Ashley's On The Phone in Episode 4.03, "When Opportunity Knocks"

6. Where the hell is Ashley? Ash called George from “Florida,” but she’s supposed to be in Texas. Did she and Toby really book it across the country already? The room Ash was calling from was completely empty, and she sounded miserable when she was on the phone with her pops. Uh oh. Hands up if you think Ashley is in a women’s health clinic with a missed period.

7. Is Grace moving too quickly? We know most high school relationships have a life span of about two weeks, but Grace and Grant were totally head over heels, like, yesterday. In the words of Fergie, “Where is the love?” We hope to see a little more emotion from G-unit next week. Honestly, we probably cried more about their break up than they did!