Credit: ABC Family Photo: Jack Talks to the New Girl in Season 5, Episode 9: “Property Not for Sale”

This week, The Secret Life of the American Teenager taught us several valuable lessons about feminism and erotic literature, not to mention the fact that campus pimps are wandering around our dorms. The more you know.

Check out this week's top 10 quotes in the most epic, LOL-tastic roundup yet!

10. Clementine hits up campus security: "Hey, Bubba. We have an unwanted visitor."
Bubba: "What variety?"
Clementine: "Pimp."

What, there weren't pimps at your college?

9. Ethan defends Kathy: "Look, that’s precious cargo in that belly — I’m just making sure it gets to the right port."

No more analogies for this guy.

8. Ricky schools his foster bro: "Back the freak off."

The Rickster is far too pure for "the f-word."


7. Kathleen is horrified by Tom: "That’s your book, 50 Spices?"

Not to be confused with 50 Shades Of Grey.

6. Ethan wisens up: "I have a sixth sense about these things. I’m street smart."

This dude was stabbed in the calf. He knows what's up.

5. Omar educates Adrian: "Do you have any idea how dangerous pimps are?"

Really? The Bachelorette's Chris Harrison has always seemed so mild-mannered!

4. Jack's thoughts on prostitution: "I thought girls did this just to make a little extra dough."

Jack needs to join a women's rights rally, stat.

3. Ben real talks with Alice: "I apologize for taking advantage of you as a friend and a woman."

Apology denied.

2. Ricky comforts Amy: "There’s nothing wrong with our relationship — other than you’re a little nuts."

And the fact that she's a vegetarian.


1. Leo gives Ben a life lesson: "A 15-year-old girl gets nabbed by some guy and turned into a prostitute. She hasn’t seen her family for two years."
Ben: "So, she liked it?"

Ohhh, Ben. All the sausage has clearly addled his brain.

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