Credit: ABC Family Photo: Ben Comforts Adrian in Episode 3.22, "Loose Lips"

Wow, last night’s episode of Secret Life of the American Teenager brought the drama, and it brought it hard. So many catfights, so little time! If you missed out on all the fun, don’t sweat it. Wetpaint’s got you covered with our off the heezy recap!

Adrian’s baby shower is around the corner and apparently the stress is getting to her because girlfriend’s gone totally cray-cray. Amy hurts Adrian’s feelings when she brings up the fact that Adrian has, like, zero friends to invite to the partay, and Adrian retaliates by humiliating Amy and inviting all of Ricky’s ex-skanks to the shower. ‘Cause that sounds like a fun time. Poor Amy cries her eyes in embarrassment, but it’s like, girl... the only thing you should be embarrassed about is your turtleneck. Change your shirt! That shiz is redonkulous in all the wrong ways.

The battle between Amy and Adrian is on like Donkey Kong, and peeps are taking sides like there’s no tomorrow! Ben is all about protecting his baby mama’s feelings, but Amy’s baby daddy isn’t nearly as sympathetic. We believe Ricky’s exact words were, “I don’t care anyway.” Wow, if you guys were worried about Ricky losing his stud groove, that line put him right back on track.

Meanwhile, Ricky and Ben’s budding bromance is going south — and not in a hot way. They get in the middle of their girlfriends’ catfight and have a total bro-off. Ain’t nothing like a pissed-off stud, right girls? We just wish Ben would calm the heck down. First, he accuses Rick of still being in love with Adrian, and then he majorly hurts Amy’s feelings when he calls her “sexually stupid.” They get in a huge argument about whether or not Adrian’s only marrying Ben to get back at Ricky, and then Ben accuses Amy of only being with Ricky to justify her pregnancy! He even tells Amy that Ricky dropped the L-bomb with every single girl he’s ever been with. Oh, no he didn’t!

Credit: ABC Family Photo: Amy & Ashley Juergens Talk in Episode 3.22, "Loose Lips"

Everyone is involved in Amy and Adrian’s fight — even Leo and George! Yup, things are starting to get super Godfather-y all up in here. We’re seriously in a full-on war of the families! Everyone should just go to Italy and hide out for a few years before decapitated horse heads start ending up in their beds — espesh Alice. After she hurts Ben’s feelings by not going to Adrian’s baby shower, she’s totes on the sausage shiz list.

Amy’s night goes from bad to worse when Ashley doesn’t take her side. Ever heard of sisterly love, Ash? They finally talk out Ash’s kiss/attempted Ricky de-virginization, which leaves both of them in tears. Sigh. It’s like, can’t we all just get along?

Grace is super stressed about being caught in the middle of Amy and Adrian’s fight and she tries desperately to round up people to attend the shower. To make matters worse (or better?), Jack shows up and they start talking about — what else? — the nasty! Grace tries to get Jack to tell her what kind of sex he had with Adrian, and unfortch Grant shows up right in the middle of their convo. Uh oh! Maybe Grace should cry it out on Jack’s beefy shoulder...

These kids’ lives may be dramaliscious, but let’s not forget their renties! Anne’s dating her high school ex-bf. Frankly, if this dude can look at Anne wearing that crazy white sweater and still be attracted to her, he’s a keeper! Meanwhile, George and his first ex-wife Kathleen have a sexy conversation on the phone and hash out their relationship. Will they reignite the spark? Find out on next week’s all new Secret Life!

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