Credit: ABC Family

Full disclosure: Three out of five of this week's Secret Life of the American Teenager quotes are about meat. In other words, you're welcome!

Without further ado, check out our roundup of the best doozies from Episode 20. And pro tip: Bacon grease makes great hair gel.

1. Ricky tries to comfort Amy: "Your mom’s attractive, too."

And fails.

2. Dylan asks Bunny how she gets her hair so shiny: "A little secret I call bacon grease."

Why are we not surprised?

3. George hits up Kathleen for some grub: "Man stuff. Beef jerky, chips, beer?"

We're really worried about George's blood pressure.

4. Amy orders food for Ricky: "Can I get a large cheese pizza, half meat lovers’ special, please … to go?"

It's as though vegetables are Ricky's kryptonite.
 
5. Jack gives Tom (and us) a life lesson: "Hey you remember when you hit me with that football? Life is like that, it hits you where it hurts."

Someone get this boy an inspirational speaking gig.