"I Heard You Went on Vacation In Lesbian Land": Greatest Quotes From Secret Life Season 5, Episode 5

This week's Secret Life quotes were like a platter of Ricky's finest bacon: Tasty, beautiful, and extremely unhealthy. The word vomit was out of control (looking at you, Madison), and now that Ethan's back in town, everything is way more pervy than usual. In other words, enjoy!

7. Ethan flirts with Kathy: "You know, you looked really good from behind."

Um … thanks?

6. Grant teases Grace: "I heard you went on vacation in Lesbian Land."

Ugh, we had just blocked out those awkward memories.

5. Jack confesses: "I'm not that kind of Christian. I’m the kind of Christian that has sex if I'm in a committed relationship."

Amen to that, sista-friend!

4. Grace bonds with Kathy: "I love funny people. You know who else loves funny people is Jesus."

Yeah, he was a riot with that long hair and those free-flowing robes.
 
3. Madison blows our minds: "You know those Mongolian guys are really macho with their little ponies riding across the tundra killing all those rats and stuff."

We have absolutely no words for this.

2. Jack flirts with Grace: "You know I love you. I just can’t not have sex with you."

Two words: Lingering STI.

1. Ethan continues to flirt with Kathy: "I’m just curious. I’ve never done a pregnant girl before."

Reminder: This kid is 15.