OK, real talk: Season 4 of Secret Life is officially out-of-this-world amazing. Our heads are still spinning from last night’s drama! Get all caught up with Wetpaint’s recap — and if you’ve already seen the episode, we bet ten-to-one that you’re ready to revisit the good times!
There’s No Place Like Home
Ashley’s on day one of her “educational” trip across the country, and she’s left her renties all alone and broken-hearted. George is even more crushed when he learns that Amy’s moved in with Ricky, so he takes it out on his house by “renovating” it ... with Robbie. Yeah, ‘cause sticking your kid in the middle of a construction zone is always a good idea. Parent fail.
Meanwhile, George checks in with Ash to make sure she’s following his rules of the road, which include gems like no tornado chasing, no peeing in truck stops, and, of course, no sex. Ha, like that’ll happen. So far, Ashley’s trip consists of feeding donkeys and hanging out at gas stations, and since she and Toby have decided to stay off freeways, it looks like they won’t make it to the east coast until next year. It was nice knowing you, girl.
Back at the Juergens house, George warns Amy that her relationship with Ricky won’t work out and they inevitably have one of their fighting matches. And then, Secret Lifers, the unthinkably hilarious/adorable happens: George imagines Amy as a lisping 6-year-old with the cutest smile ever. Commence laughter.
Sigh, they grow up (and get pregnant) so fast.
Home Is Where Your
Heart Boyfriend Is
Remember last week when Amy promised Ricky that she wouldn’t reveal secrets about their relationship to Adrian, and then she did it anyway? Yeah, considering she’s on a show called “Secret Life,” she sure sucks at keeping secrets.
Amy tries to cover her tracks, but of course Ben blabs the truth to Ricky. Sigh, Sausage Royals, you can’t live with ‘em, you can’t live without ‘em. The Rickster calls Ben out on wanting to get divorced, and encourages him to wait it out with Adrian. Awww, bromance alert! Too bad Ben ruins the mood by bringing up the fact that Ricky will probably cheat on Amy with Adrian as soon as she’s single. And we don’t hear Ricky denying it.
Ricky’s quick to forgive Amy for her big, fat lie, but it might be because he feels guilty about his dirty Adrian dreams. Eh, it’s nothing a sexy makeout sesh can’t cure!
Over in Sausage City, Ben and Leo still don’t want to be hitched to their respective brides. Leo’s caught off guard by Camille’s romantic feelings for him, and Ben is sulking around his condo like a zombie. He wants to ditch Adrian, but there’s one big problem: She’s nowhere near over the tragic loss of their baby. Will he really break her heart when it’s already shattered into a million pieces?
Meanwhile, Grace video messages Adrian from Zimbabwe to check in, and totally fails at comforting her. The only person Adrian isn’t pissed off at is Ben, but when she leans in for a romantic kiss after fighting with Grace, Ben just pecks her on the cheek. DENIED!
We feel terrible for Adrian — she really needs someone new to talk to. Thankfully, Betty’s back from her mysterious trip to backwoods Idaho, and she’s eager to help Adrian get over her loss. And by that we mean she calls Adrian a “big hot mess” and basically implies that she’s ugly and fat. Words of wisdom: “You can mourn and still look good.” Thanks B-tizzle.
It seems like Betty’s unique methods of comfort do the trick, because Adrian actually smiles! She also admits her fears about Ben leaving her, but Betty reassures her that their relationship is nothing a little eye-liner and glitter can’t fix. Team Adrian + Betty all the way.
School's (Almost) Out for Summer!
Over in the drama-filled hallways of Grant High, Jack tells Madison that he’s going to move to Arizona for college and live with his parents, but he still wants to make their relationship work long-distance. Wow, nothing’s more attractive than a guy who lives with his renties, right ladies? Madison doesn’t seem too fazed — she’s way more worried about the fact that Jack’s moving into Grace’s house for the remainder of the school year.
Speaking of Cookie, Grace calls her mom through video chat and begs to stay longer in Zimbabwe, but Jack interrupts their convo. (Hottie alert!) Jack tells Grace that he’s moving into the main house because Rachel and Tom are living in the guest house, which causes Grace to shut off her computer in a rage. Uh oh, looks like this aspiring doctor is coming back from Africa with an attitude to match her tan.
Back at the Juergens’, Anne and George spend the night together ... eating dinner. Sigh, when will these two kiss and make up already? Anne and her bf are officially dunzo, and George has been single and ready to mingle forevskee!
Guess we’ll have to wait ‘til next week, Secret Lifers. In the meantime, head over to our Facebook page and sound off on the episode!