This week, America's favorite gang of knocked-up teens (otherwise known as The Secret Lifers) tackled new territory: Summer school.
That's right, they went there! Grab a fork and a bag of churros, because we guarantee you'll be hungry after this delicious episode!
Gin and Juice
There's trouble in sausage paradise for Amy and Ricky! Now that these lovebirds are engaged, Ricky's all about them becoming independent — and he wants Amy to skip summer school and get a job so they have extra income.
Sounds pretty reasonable, but Amy is so not on the same page. Not only does she want to attend summer school with her besties — she wants to switch Ricky to a raw foods diet. In the words of the Rickster himself: Huh?
To make matters worse, Amy wants to stop eating sausage everyday, a concept which is completely beyond Ricky's mental capacity. Boyfriend needs his link fix, okay?
Meanwhile in the Land That Meat Built, our favorite royal subject is hopelessly in love with his pot-smoking hippie girlfriend. Ben only has eyes for Dylan, but the problem? Their parents don't want them seeing each other.
Leo's especially concerned about Benny and his raging drug addiction, so he decides to send him to summer school with a chaperone so he can't sneak off and get high 'til he dies with Dylan.
Of course, Ben says he "can't live without Dylan" (sigh, divorcees, right?), and they spend the entire episode attempting to secretly see each other.
So what's new with Racy Gracey? Her mom books it to Africa, leaving Grace all on her lonesome. Naturally, she sneaks out of the house and moves in with Adrian, who isn't thrilled to have the Cookie Monster as a roomie.
Who can blame her? Grace's is living breathing proof of what can happen when a cheerleader overdoses on pom-poms.
Let's not forget that one of the conditions of Adrian and Grace living together is their pact to ditch the dudes, but Adrian's sleeping with Omar, and Grace is distraught when she learns the truth. Where have all her cowboys gone?
For starters, Grant is all on his lonesome at Med Camp, so he decides her to call up Kathleen and finds her totally high on anxiety meds. Poor lady is terrified of flying, so naturally Grant leaves her to overdose, and calls up Jack, who's peeping around Grace's room like a total perv.
Probs just wanted to know if the sheets smelled like cookies.
Summer in Secret Life Land is hotter than Nick Lachey in 98 Degrees, which means summer school is absolutely sizzling!
Give a warm welcome to Ricky's adorable foster brother from another brother, who's out of juvie due to over-capacity! This dude is nothing but trouble, but Amy refuses to listen to Ricky's sage words of wisdom, and instead gives Ethan the benefit of the doubt.
As we all know, going against Ricky's authority never leads to good things, and Ethan spends most of his time at summer school flirting with Madison and stealing condoms from the nurse's office. Fourteen-year-olds just wanna have fun, ya'll.
The whole gang gets into a fight during class, and Madison totally crosses a line when she refers to Baby John as a mistake, which prompts Amy to flip out. We're Team Amy on this one, but surprisingly, Ben takes Madison's side and tells Amy to shut up! Is that really the way to treat your ex wife, Benny?
Sigh, this dude will never learn, so we might as well check in on our girl Grace. After finding out that Adrian broke their no boys pact, she books it to Med Camp only to get kicked out after a very public fight with Grant — presumably about chocolate chip vs. snickerdoodles.
Grace shame spirals back to Grant High to re-enroll in summer school, and is horrified to learn that Kathleen knows she skipped med camp. Good thing this lady is too strung out on Xanex to do anything about it!
Unlucky in Love
After a long day edumacating himself at school, Ben heads back to his palace and comes clean to his pops. Sadly, the truth doesn't always set you free, and Leo has no intention of letting Ben date Dylan — even though Ben insists that she's a virgin, touched for the very first time.
Meanwhile, Adrian gets ready for a big date with Omar while Grace hangs with Jack, who's determined to get back into her red hot panties and bring down some planes with their passionate love making.
We get the feeling that Grace wants in on Jack's action, but she's determined to stick to her no boys rule, so she kicks him out despite him dropping the L-word. Awwww!
Over in Sausage City, Ricky and Amy are still at odds over how to spend their money, but at least Amy finally agrees that they have to be more strict with Ethan.
Oh, and bonus? Ethan will be living with them for the next two days while he waits out his summer school suspension. Uh oh!
By the way, for those of you wondering — no, Ashley Juergens did not show up during this episode. We assume she's on another "road trip" (read: Pregnant under a bridge somewhere).