Oh, Secret Life of the American Teenager. Every episode of this show is like the big, sausagey gift that keeps on giving!
This week, our favorite crew of teenage divorcees tackled romance, bromance, secret siblings and lesbians — all in just one hour.
And if you're wondering whether or not Ricky appeared shirtless, the answer is no. Brenda Hampton giveth, and Brenda Hampton taketh away forever.
Meat Lovers' Pizza
Despite the fact that he's a twice divorced sausage addict, Dylan has the hots for Ben. But to paraphrase the Spice Girls, if she wants to get with him, she's gotta get with his friends — including Adrian, his second (and sassiest) ex-wife!
Speaking of Adrian, girlfriend's a hot mess over her divorce from Benny. And to make matters worse, Omar breaks up with her after she uses him for sex! Sigh, whose shoulder will Adrian cry on now?!
Enter Dylan, who shows up at Adrian's apartment for a bonding session, with Ben hot on her heels. Obviously, Ben is completely horrified by the thought of hanging with his current girlfriend and his ex-wife, so he ditches the gang to grab some grub and runs into Amy –– who's busy ordering a "meat lovers pizza." No words.
Is it just us, or do Ben and Amy totally have a moment? Maybe they're just high on sausage, pepperoni, and meatball fumes, but we're going to call it: Love connection alert!
In other news, our favorite hooker-turned-collegiate is back and ditzier than ever. We're pretty sure Betty is crazy-obsessed with Leo's sausage, because she won't stop popping up in his office to dish relationship advice. Could a reunion be on the horizon?
Je T'aime Paris
Who cares about Ben and his harem of women when Ramy's in the picture! This power couple are just as fraught as ever, and the latest drama? George McHilarious Juergens.
George wants Amy to quit work at the church nursery to babysit John, and Ames isn't having it.
Poor girl is totally traumatized by the idea of her dad locking lips with Kathleen, and when Nora reveals that George is "in love" with Kath, Amy breaks down into a fit of ugly-crying
. Sigh, so many emotions, so little time. So, how does Ricky comfort Amy in her time of need? By telling her how hot Kathleen is. And how hot Anne is .... wow.
Amy might be grossed out by the image of George and Kathleen doing the dirty, but her pops definitely has a crush on Wife No. 1, and there's no stopping a man in love!
When Kathleen tells George that she's single and ready to mingle, he calls up Anne (who's in France) and breaks up with her .. .even though they split months ago.
Of course, Anne's just like "talk to the hand" because she's busy discovering herself in Europe. By which we mean discovering other ladies.
Oh, also? George and Kathleen have a new agreement to "have sex in a few months." We'll mark our calendars!
Sigh, Grace. How the mighty have fallen. This girl used to be Secret Life's voice of reason, and now she's a sex-addict with a major jealous streak.
We blame the arrival of Jacob (aka He Who Must Not Be Named), Grace's brother from another mother who she refuses to acknowledge.
Grace wants nothing to do with her bro, but Kathleen's determined for them to bond, so she gives Grace an ultimatum: Chat with Jacob, or move home –– into the guest house!
Grace is less than thrilled about the prospect of talking to her bro, but she sits down with Jacob for a bonding session about their dad, Dr. Bowman.
Jacob even reveals that his mom knew Dr. B before Kathleen — which means Kathy was the "other woman!"
In other news, Tom's forced to move back into his old room as punishment for driving without a license, and to top it off, his sometimes-lover, Rachel, is moving out of the guest house.
Poor Tom just can't catch a break. Who else thinks it's time for him to revisit his stalker-style crush on Adrian?