This season of Teen Mom was more delicious than a flat of Dunkin’ Donuts — it was dramatic, tragic, hilarious and nauseating!
We were weeping all over our velour jumpsuits during last week’s finale, but luckily the Teen Mom gang are back at it for part one of a reunion special with Dr. Drew!
We’ll go ahead and ignore the fact that these mamas looked like they were ready to hurl themselves out a window in boredom and enjoy the ride!
We’re worried about our girl Farrah. Maybe she’s just trying to hide the fact that she’s wearing braces on national TV, but there’s no excuse for that gigantic maxi dress.
As we all know, the most dramalicious part of Farrah’s season was her decision to leave Sophia behind with her parents while she attends college in Florida — but apparently her plans have changed. Farrah tells Dr. Drew that she’s going to fetch Sophia after a couple weeks, which is news to Farrah’s mom Debra!
Of course, Farrah get emotional and ends up weeping all over her giant butterfly ring. She tearfully chats about how unhappy she is and Dr. Drew chalks it up to “moving on from childhood.”
Right, or the fact that she was thrust into motherhood at 16 and her baby daddy died in a tragic car accident. Someone give this girl a Prozac!
Dr. Drew grills Farrah about why she doesn’t have any friends, so she starts crying hysterically while he’s just like, “How come no one likes you?” Wow, doc. Way to kick a girl when she’s down.
Poor Farrah ends up sobbing into a hankie and admits that she’s had a hard time connecting with people ever since Derek’s death.
We’re seriously crying right there with her. Girl power!
Amber starts the reunion show by admitting that everyone hates her and thinks she’s a crazy biatch.
Probably because she spent most of the season beating up Gary Bear (Team Gary!) and being on probation. And then there was that whole stint in the clink ...
Amber still doesn’t know whether or not she’ll go to jail for domestic abuse, and admits that she’s been getting death threats, which is certainly something she doesn’t deserve — not matter how cray-cray she is. Haters gonna hate!
Meanwhile, Amber’s baby daddy/on-again-off-again boyfriend ambles on stage for some Gary Time and admits that he’s head-over-goatee in love with Amber. But does she love him back?
Considering that she stares into space for a full five minutes without saying anything, we’re gonna go ahead and say no. Shot down!
Things go from awkward to terrible when Dr. Drew brings up Amber’s baby sister, who died from SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome), and she collapses into a fit of tears.
Turns out Amber was ignored as a child after her sister’s death, which she claims makes her a better mom to Leah.
When Amber’s parental unit, Tanya, comes on stage, Dr. Drew makes her go through the night that her daughter died and before we know it, Amber’s running away in a fit of hysteria. Way to go, Dr. Drew.
Will Amber recover from her meltdown? To be continued, ya’ll!