Credit: ABC Family

This week's Secret Life of The American Teenager quotes were even more fabulous than usual — mostly because George Juergens and Leo Boykewich wandered around talking about lady-waxing, meat, and witches brew. Sigh, these two! Together, they are the perfect middle-aged man.

Check out the best zingers from Season 5, Episode 2, "Shotgun":

5. George greets the ladies: "If I had known you were all going to be here, I would have picked up some Eye of Newt."

Stop the world, it appears as though George Juergens is making a Shakespeare reference.

4. Amy gives Ricky a message from George: "He says to take our time, and maybe if we wait long enough, they’ll all go get waxed or something. I love my dad!"

Yes, because whenever females are in a room together they spontaneously wax their bikini lines.

3. Amy speaks in tongues: "I’m going to say what I want to say when I want to say it."
Ricky: "I not gonna say what I don’t wanna say when I don't wanna say it."

Round of applause, Secret Life writers. You've done it again!

2. Leo visits Ben in the hospital: "These walls are sheets."

Don't know what it means, but we have a feeling it's wise.

1. Leo defends his business: "We do not have rancid steak at Boykewich International."

Someone's about to wake up with a completely not-rancid horse head in their sheets.