Credit: Randy Holmes/ABC Family Channel © 2010 Disney ABC Television Group Photo: Ricky Gives Ashley The Kiss-Off in Secret Life Season 3, Episode 14: "Rules of Engagement"

You know Secret Life — every eppy is one big dramathon. This show can’t go five minutes without someone tearing up or getting pregnant, and the season 3A finale is no exception! It’s packed full of unexpected smooches, breakups, engagement rings, and the attempted de-flowering of a virgin. Plus, did we mention that Ricky puts on a suit? Because, yeah. That totally happens.

1. Ben and Adrian’s kiss. Adrian plants one on her baby daddy after he officially gives her a bling-bling 50K “friendship ring.” Did you look at that rock? No wonder she’s ready to pounce him! Remember guys — Ben and Adrian might get hitched, so the fact that they’re attracted to each other is a good sign! The fact that they’re not in love? A little problematic.

2. Ricky and Amy’s date. OMG, Ricky and Amy’s dinner date is so adorbs! Though, we’re not OK with Amy dressing up like a 40-year-old soap star. Lose the lipstick, lady! At least Ricky likes Amy’s vamped-up look (whatever pleases your man, ladies). We’re so excited that Ramy is finally happening, but did you check out the sorry excuse for a dinner that Ricky cooked? A plate full of Wonder Bread... annnnd, that’s it. Clearly Ricky’s talents lie in the bedroom, not in the kitchen.

3. Ashley’s attempted de-virginization. Ricky arrives home to find Ashley under his crimson covers, outfitted in nothing but a risque undershirt. Normally Ricky would have his pants unzipped and be on that bed stat, but not this time! He just shakes his head as though Ash has severely disappointed him. Poor girl just wants to get a little frisky with her bro-in-law. DENIED!

4. George and Anne’s break up. George cheats on Anne for the second time. Does this man have no morals? These two were in hot n’ sweaty love, like, five seconds ago! To be fair, they weren’t even together at the time he cheated, so that sort of makes it better.... sigh. We know George and Anne’s breakup is a metaphor for how Ramy and Badrian shouldn’t get married, but you’re breaking our hearts here, Secret Life!

5. Ben tells Amy he doesn’t want her to have sex with Ricky. If Ben were really over his ex-wife, would he care if she slept with Ricky? No way! Ben is totally pining for Amy on the quiet. Oh Ben. You’re all kinds of confused. And that man-crush you have on Ricky isn’t helping anything.