How were your Secret Life viewing parties? Judging from last night’s episode, we would guess that you guys probs didn’t even have time to play “pin the condom on Ricky” — that’s how intense the premiere was! We’ve rounded up the five biggest OMG moments for you to re-visit while you wait for next Monday to roll around! If we made it through six months, we can make it through six days!
1. We finally see Adrian’s baby bump! We only caught glimpses of Adrian’s belly in the promos, but now it’s on full display! Are we the only ones who shed a tear when Adrian waddled down the hallway with a big smile on her face? She looks amazing pregnant! But c’mon Secret Life writers: doesn’t pregnancy kinda suck? Where are her varicose veins, swollen ankles and facial hair? Yeah, that’s right: we’ve read What To Expect When You’re Expecting.
2. Grant and Grace decide to have sex. It’s official: Grace and Grant are gonna get it on! We can’t promise someone won’t burn up in a plane crash right after, because look what happened to Grace’s dad last time she had sex. It’s unlikely that her act of sin killed him, but we’ll never know. After all, if Ben managed to impregnate Adrian, then obviously these kids have super powers.
3. Amy tells Ricky she wants to do him. OMG, Amy’s totally ready to de-virginize herself again. Did she learn nothing from the first time she and Ricky had sex? Even the strongest condoms don’t stand a chance. Amy best buy out the contraception aisle at her local pharmacy, because that’s the only way she’s coming out of this sitch with an un-procreated womb.
4. It’s a girl! Ben and Adrian finally find out the sex of their baber and Ben breaks out his Spanish accent — well, he tries. We’ll let it slide only because these two are having a girl and we can’t wait! So in 20 years (OK, fine, 15 if they’re anything like their parents), Baby John and Baby Sausage Princess are totes gonna have a kiddo of their own, right? It’s the circle of Secret Life!
5. Jack’s reveals his secret STD. We can’t stop thinking about how gross Jack is. It’s not even the fact that he had an STD, it’s the fact that he kept it a secret and then had sex with Grace anyway. Epic fail, Jack. Also, did you like how he told Grace and Grant about it totally casual-style? Like, “STDs? Oh, I totes had one of those!!”